How far along? 21 weeks 1 day. 

Baby Size: Bok Choy (looks like spinach) according to my Ovia app the bump was going backwards and I thought it was dumb.

Total weight gain: 4lbs (I'm assuming will know more on Thursday)

Maternity clothes: I was tired of using the maternity band so I bought some maternity pants/shorts this weekend. No regrets!! Best invention ever!!!

Stretch marks: My right hip has an old stretch mark but rather than that none.

Sleep: Intermittent. I don't think I've ever slept through the night even before becoming pregnant. Smh!

Food cravings: Nothing in particular anymore. My cravings come and go...and they dont tend to stick around much. When its hot I want slushies, ice cream, etc.

Best moment this week: Everyone at work finding out I'm 5 months pregnant and seeing their jaw drop. Apparently I don't look 5 months or pregnant for that matter. Did i eat a large meal that wont go down? BUT the most exciting thing was seeing my stomach move when little man was kicking away. Now my jaw dropped at that moment but J was like, "I told u I saw videos of this!"

Miss anything? I don't think I ever will I love being pregnant.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope

Gender: A little mini J

Symptoms: Acne (all over forehead, chest, and some on my back.) Exhaustion. Fainting: I fainted over the weekend at the store. It was scary but I was glad my mom was with me. I completely blacked out and when I woke up I was on the floor. Spoke to my OB about it but he said sounds like my blood pressure dropped since I didn't eat or snack since the morning. Baby boy has been moving constantly since it happened so we know all is good. Lesson learned packing snacks in my purse from now on!

Belly button in or out: In. My mother said her belly button never popped out so she doesnt think mine would either.

Wedding rings on or off: On but I am sure with the heat coming around they wont stay on much longer.

Happy or moody most of the time: Relieved that my little man is doing well after my fainting spell! Always happy because he's an active baby.

Looking forward to: Seeing my baby boy on Thursday. Also my cousin is flying in for Easter Sunday so that should be fun.

How far along? 20 weeks & 2 days. Finally starting to show although people haven't asked I guess out of fear. LOL! 

Baby Size: As big as a Banana (Which personally I think a mango weighs more than a Banana)

Total weight gain: 4lbs

Maternity clothes: Gave in to work maternity pants! They are amazing!!! I still fit in to my jeans with the rubber band trick so no hurry there.

Stretch marks: My right hip has an old stretch mark but rather than that none.

Sleep: Intermittent. If nightmares don't wake me up then I sleep fine. Once I'm awake I need to pee lol!

Food cravings: Apples w/ peanut butter!! Amazing! Who says no to peanut butter?? 

Best moment this week: Feeling my little man move more consistently. It feels weird but I love it! Can't wait til they get stronger. 

Miss anything? Absolutely nada!

Anything making you queasy or sick? Not anymore which is great.

Gender: A little mini J

Symptoms: Acne (all over forehead, chest, and some on my back.) 

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: Over the moon every minute of the day!! 

Looking forward to: J feeling our son move, although I know it might be a couple more weeks. Also my next appt on April 2nd!! Love seeing him grow. 

Infertility has a way of changing your life in every aspect. Your perspective starts to shift dramatically. On occasions you start to become resentful, bitter, jealous, etc. It makes you go through so many mood swings that you start believing this is the new you. Maybe I'm speaking for myself and you never went through these motions.

My parents have always raised us to be religious. As I got older my faith became less evident. It seemed as if I tucked it in my heart somewhere and wouldn't pull it out unless I needed something. Once we were labeled infertile, or I simply realized I wasn't getting pregnant at my age, my faith started declining tremendously.  It felt mildly strange since I was raised to have faith but here I was struggling to find it in my situation. When I started blogging I quickly found blogs that talked about faith & hope. With every post I started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Little did I know that I would seek God more than ever.

My journey as you can see hasn't been rainbows and roses. We've been on a roller coaster of a journey to get to where we are. Even now we are still not out of the woods. With every day, hour, minute that passes by I give him thanks for allowing me to be here. If you have been following along then you know this pregnancy hasn't been easy breezy. My first trimester was, in my opinion, scary and uncertain. After experiencing losses it was harder for me to fully accept that things would progress as they should. Due to unexplained bleeding my doctor and I decided it was best for me to go on leave from work to reduce my stress level. Once I was almost out of the first trimester I was able to return back to work without worry.

During my leave I reminded myself that my son was the seed he promised me after my second miscarriage. Even though I continuously prayed I searched for a response from him. Don't we all? Little did I know he had plans to answer me in his own way. 

At work I tend to be an introvert. Not purposely I suppose but out of habit to keep people from knowing too much. I've never been secretive about our struggle conceiving BUT I also don't go around telling everyone at work. So when my co-worker started a conversation with me I confessed I was pregnant. She's not someone I usually talk to or have had a relationship with. I found it extremely odd that she made the effort to stir up a conversation with me. She offered her maternity clothes to me and told me to take care of myself. During our mini conversation I did confess why I was on leave. This conversation happened last week on Friday, I believe? Any who, today I kindly asked her about her old maternity clothes if the offer was still open. Once things were said and done she confessed she had a message for me. God has been pushing her to give me this message since the day I came back from leave but she was hesitant to tell me due to not knowing if I had faith. Apparently she didn't want me to feel weird if I wasn't. She told me I would know instantly what it meant. My heart sank when I heard the message she had to give me. If I wasn't at work I probably would have started crying. The message was relayed to me in Spanish so I will translate it the best I can. 

"Dios dice que no temas y ten fe que todo va estar bien. Confia en el y pon todo en sus manos. Acercate mas a el y pide con todo el corazon el escucha." 

"God says not to fear have faith everything will be ok. Trust in him and leave everything in his hands. Seek him he is listening and ask that you pray with all your heart." 

Why has this message spoken a thousand words to me? I'm out of the first trimester. My pregnancy seems to be progressing as it should is it not? Yes, yes it has and I am truly grateful for that. So what's the deal? After extensive blood work my MFM has decided to discontinue my lovenox. She strongly disagrees that I should be on it for the rest of my pregnancy. My OB also agrees I should discontinue it. I expressed my concerns numerous times with no avail. My MFM assured me baby and I would be monitored closely. If she were to see a change in his growth or my blood flow then she will put me back on it. My OB says there's a possibility I would be back on it during the third trimester. This situation had me quite nervous that I refused to stop it until I saw/spoke to my OB. Once I did he was better at calming me down and giving me the courage to stop it. During this time I was feeling my little man move occasionally. Every time I needed a reassurance I would lay in bed, rub my belly asking him to please give mommy a peace of mind. It never fails that he truly listens to me and starts showing me he is still doing well. Although his movement isn't consistent or strong enough I know he is there. Which always puts a smile on my face.  

You may be wondering why I am writing this post. My reasons are to let you all know God is there even if you can't see, feel, hear him. He is always looking for ways to show you he is there you just have to listen. He did not only give me a peace of mind but he also gave me a new friend. Someone who I can turn to when I am feeling uncertain. For that I am grateful!

How far along? 18 weeks & 4 days

Baby Size: According to our last ultrasound @ 17 weeks 4 days he was 7ounces

Total weight gain: Around 2-3 pounds

Maternity clothes: Not yet but I am using the rubber band trick & maternity band

Stretch marks: My right hip has an old stretch mark

Sleep: Some nights I sleep like a rock others not so much haha!

Food cravings: Nothing in particular but anything will do if I’m hungry.

Best moments: Sharing the news that a Baby Boy is baking, seeing my little man wiggle all around during ultrasound, & finding out J & I are not carriers of the same disease. Woohoo!

Miss anything? Nada I am loving being pregnant even with teenage acne on my face!

Anything making you queasy or sick? Not really but congestion can have this effect on me

Gender: A sweet baby BOY! (I told J I was growing a penis inside of me and he said that was weird and never to say that again LOL!)

Symptoms: Congestion, frequent urination, shortness of breath, acne on my forehead, extremely hungry

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: Extremely Happy! Takes a lot to get me out of this mood

Looking forward to: Cleaning up the spare/junk room to start working on the baby nursery. Also hearing my little man's heartbeat at todays OB appt.

It seems I have abandoned my blog these days or should say weeks. I haven't been feeling well. Came firm with a fever about a week ago and felt better the following day. But when I got home Friday evening I felt it coming on again. Ugh! I'm finally caving in and going to the doctors to make sure everything is ok.

We found out at 15 weeks what we were having and confirmed it at my last appt. Which was last week at 17.4 weeks. Since it was my nieces birthday we decided to share the news with everyone. It's a moment I will never forget. Seeing everyone's reaction was definitely priceless. J took video and he hasn't sent it my way so I took the best pictures I could with my phone.

We are having a ....

J and I's picture is very blurry. Everything happened so fast we didn't even bother to check. Funny thing is that everyone who took the picture had it blurry. Epic failure!! As you can tell I was very cold because I was getting sick again. Sucked too cause I had a very cute shirt. Lol! 

My parents went with pink but at the end of the day they admitted they always thought it was a boy. They just wanted to make everyone think they already knew the gender by going against the #1 choice, blue. 

We all continued to celebrate my nieces birthday that day. She turned 5 even though she looks like she's 3. She was wearing the dress I got her last year for her birthday which made me laugh. She hasn't grown a bit. 

Look at how little she looks compared to my beige. They're a week apart exactly with her being the older one. 

Well that's all for now I will do another post on my bump update.