I never knew how passionate I was when it came to Ezekiel’s birth. Looking back on my previous pregnancy I cannot recall a moment I ever thought about it. Honestly, I was pretty naïve about the whole thing. My entire pregnancy was non eventful, besides the first trimester, that it made me think delivering my sweet baby boy was going to be the same. Of course, joke was on me when the induction quickly turned into an emergency C-section.

Given that I had a previous c-section I knew I had to quickly educate myself on VBACs. I joined a FB group about vbacs to get more oriented on the subject. My previous OB did not support vbacs but was kind enough to refer me to a practice where all the doctors had experience with them. Al though my MFM (maternal fetal specialist) was not going to be a part of the delivery equation I also discussed my wishes with her. At the end of the day I was glad I did because she turned out to be one of my greatest supporters throughout my pregnancy.

My pregnancy with Ezekiel was a tiny bit harder given that my OB was careless, or should I say in a hurry, that my complaints were always normal. I quickly realized that she would turn out to be one of those doctors who push you towards a csection at the end of your pregnancy. Sooo at the last month of my pregnancy I started with all the crazy attempts so baby boy can come into this world on his own. Monday through Friday I walked a mile which included stairs and up hills. If I could not walk outside, I walked on the treadmill. Squatting was also something I did regularly before going to bed and occasionally I would sit on the floor in the butterfly position. Starting at 35 weeks, I began drinking Earth Mama Third Trimester Tea. First week was once a day then increased it to two and finally three by week 37. The tea would increase the intensity of my Braxton hicks but they were not painful. The taste in my opinion wasn’t horrible that I drank it by itself, plus it made me feel relaxed. Other things I tried were dancing until I was tired as well as some weird but funny little routine that included walking/ stretching in the most uncomfortable way.

On January 3rd I went in for my last weekly check up until my scheduled c-section date. My doctor wasn’t available so that entailed seeing another doctor. I left almost crying when she told me there was no progress. During my appointment, she asked if baby boy was moving a lot. When I responded with a yes she smiled and said he could be here at any moment. Her words didn’t comfort me at all that I immediately texted J to venting on how I wont be getting my vbac. At exactly 12:30 am on January 4th I woke up with contractions. Since I had been getting on and off Braxton hicks I wasn’t really concerned over them. Even with doubt on my mind I started timing them and text my cousin who just had her baby girl 2 weeks prior. She quickly called me to ask where I was feeling the contractions. During our conversation, I became silent that it made her ask if I was getting a contraction. Once it passed, I said yes but they were bearable. She kept insisting I go to the hospital since my contractions were already 4-5 minutes apart. I finally decided to tell J he needed to take me to the hospital. While he got ready to leave I gathered all the hospital stuff and called my mom so she can take care of my first born. I ended downloading an app which tells u when u should be heading to the hospital. The minute I started using it my phone kept alerting me that I needed to go right away. By 1:40 am we were finally on our way. The hospital is a good 30-40 minutes away from our home. During check in J had to fill out the little form and answer any questions they had. The contractions were intense that I preferred not to talk through them. It seemed like the nurses didn’t believe I was in full on labor. Heck, if I am being honest I still believed they were going to send me home. They set me up in an evaluation room to monitor my contractions prior to admitting me. In the eval room next to me was another woman who was in tears. Once again my mind was back to thinking I was going to be sent home since I was not experiencing excruciating pain. All I needed was to squeeze J’s hand every time a contraction came on. I was able to speak through them when the nurse finally came in. Prior to her doing a cervical check, she asked how apart were my contractions. At that point, they were every 1 to 2 minutes. Cervical check indicated I was going to be admitted since I was already 5 cm dilated. I was extremely shocked that a couple hours prior I was not even 1 cm dilated. By the time they moved me into my delivery room I had dilated to 7 cm. The nurses asked if I wanted an epidural which I answered yes to, not because I was in pain it was more for fear that I would regret it once the pushing part began. By 7 am the new doctor on call came in to check on me and I was still at a 7 cm with a bulging water. He broke my water and by 11 am Ezekiel was born and placed in my arms. Tears of joy filled my eyes. The emotions that ran through my mind were surreal. HOLDING him alone was surreal!

Soon after I began hemorrhaging… I could see the fear in Js eyes when a swarm of nurses and doctors came into the room trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I only remember bits and pieces of that moment as I was in and out of conscious. What I do remember is thinking that this part was worst than my entire labor. Since I had to be in recovery baby boy was sent to the nursery for a couple hours until I was doing better. When we were finally reunited I held him while admiring how beautiful he looked sleeping. Ezekiel wasn’t latching on to anything. We tried the nipple shield, formula, and finally sprinkling a bit of formula to trick him on latching. Once they saw he was making an effort eating we were released from the hospital. When my milk finally came in he became a pro at breastfeeding. At his first doctors check up he had gained all his birth weight back and some.

I love my new life being a mom to two beautiful boys. Although at times it can become hectic, I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything in the world. I thank God for giving me the strength and guidance throughout our journey to becoming parents. It wasn’t easy but definitely worth it.

Hello.

I have been meaning to update this little abandoned blog for a while. In all honesty I haven’t had the energy or mentality to do so. This pregnancy has been the complete opposite from my last pregnancy which had me completely convinced there was a little girl cooking up in there. WRONG! I guess Doctors are right when they keep reminding me that every pregnancy is different.

My first trimester was tough compared to my super easy non-symptomatic pregnancy. As soon as I hit the second tri I was looking forward to having a break and getting my energy back. Little did I know new and unexplainable symptoms would arise. During one of my OB appointments I mentioned everything I was experiencing and was told it was all normal pregnancy symptoms. Then when I had my MFM appointment I once again reiterated what I was feeling. They gave me a look of concern which made me extremely suspicious as to why my OBs office dismissed them as “normal”. My MFM is only there to monitor my son not me personally but they went the extra mile to ensure everything was ok with me as well.

Results:
- Cervix was still long and closed
- Urine sample was all clear

They advised me to follow up with my OB just to ensure everything was ok and they weren’t missing anything. Since I just had my OB appointment I had to wait 3 weeks to even see her. Well this mama did not make it since it had been close to a month since I started experiencing discomfort. My pain got so severe I called my husband bawling that he could not comprehend a word I was saying. I couldn’t even walk to the restroom without crying in pain. He came to pick me up and took me to L&D since I didn’t want to drive. I was of course redirected to triage since I wasn’t in the “viable” stage. A week shy, actually. They did another urine analysis and monitored the baby. Everything came back fine so they referred me back to my doctor. The nurse looked me straight in the eyes and said she did not doubt me for one second that I wasn’t in pain but there was nothing they could do for me since all test were clear. Before I left the hospital I called my OBs office and they scheduled me in for same day. My doctor wasn’t in the office so I saw another one. I asked J to go with me because I felt like I was getting dismissed regardless of how much I tell them I don’t recall feeling this way with my previous pregnancy. My appointment was pretty much going to end the same that there is nothing wrong with me. They ran further testing as well as checked that I wasn’t leaking amniotic fluid. Doctor convinced me that I was probably experiencing SPD.

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) is a condition that causes excessive movement of the pubic symphysis, either anterior or lateral, as well as associated pain, possibly because of a misalignment of the pelvis.
Once I got home I cried thinking I was never going to make it full term with all the pain I was experiencing. For crying out loud I had more than 10+ weeks to go and it felt like an eternity just getting through 24 hour days. You know how people say not to google anything after getting a diagnosis? Well I did it anyways which only caused me more stress. Four days had passed and I didn’t hear anything back in regards to my results. I was starting to experience severe pain again with every walking step. Then before the day ended I received a call from my OBs office stating my results came back indicating I had a bladder infection and needed to start antibiotics right away. In that very moment I felt relieved that I wasn’t going mental. Little did I know it would be too late of a diagnosis. That same night I ended up once again back at L&D. I called the on call doctor and explained to her what was going on. She advised me to get to the hospital right away because the area I was experiencing my pain was my kidney. When I got there I was put in a room for 24 hour observation. She said my urine culture results were pretty nasty. They ran bloodwork to see if the infection had spread and started me on an IV right away. The following morning the new nurse stated bloodwork confirmed infection and doctor wanted me to stay for 48 hours to ensure infection was controlled. Well I only lasted there 24 hours before I went stir crazy so they agreed to discharge me with the condition of me taking the remainder of my antibiotics. Agreed. After 7 days to the T my pain started up again. I broke down. Why was this happening to me. Back to L&D it was. Another antibiotic shot and was told to continue taking one pill a day for the rest of my pregnancy.

Due to everything going on I was missing a lot of work. I requested an appointment to discuss a leave of absence from work. My doctor was available so I saw different doctor. I’ll save you the details and get to the point. I left the appointment crying, baffled, frustrated, and utterly shocked. Doctor basically called me crazy and said it was all in my head. I never had an infection in the first according to her. That my test results were contaminated which gave a false result. This mama did not keep her mouth shut and expressed all her thoughts. With that news though I decided I was going to stop my antibiotics completely since they weren’t helping and she obviously had no idea why I was put on them in the first place.

Luckily, all my pain and symptoms went away completely. Thank you Jesus!! Finally I began to feel like I was seeing the light at the end of a very long dark tunnel. My excitement for this little man’s arrival was growing. Every day that I get to see my first born grow into his personality makes me smile because I know what a wonderful big brother he is going to be. Sorry for the long post… I wanted to keep record of what happened for myself as well. I have not been taking bump pictures every week since I wasn’t feeling well. We did start up again so I’ll update the tab at the top with all bump pics as of now. I am definitely a lot bigger this time around. Not sure how much more I can keep growing.

How far along? Currently 21.2 weeks, above picture is only showing 17, 19, & 20 weeks

How big is the peanut? Baby was 9 oz at our 18 week ultrasound. He is measuring 5 days ahead.

Total weight gain/loss? 16 lbs. so far. Definitely allowing myself to eat what I want when I want since I lost a lot of weight while breastfeeding. By this I mean I lost all my fat from everywhere! This scares me that my body will have a hard time producing milk this time around, so letting the pounds stack on.
Maternity clothes? Yes! This belly is growing a lot faster than last time. Like yikes do you see how much I’ve grown in a matter of 3 weeks.

Sleep? It’s a hit or miss but mostly on my part. I work an early shift which means I should be getting to bed earlier than I am BUT I just can’t.
Best moment this week? Feeling my baby boy constantly now. Also, how can I forget about my first born…he is learning everyday it seems and he sure knows how to entertain me. We can play the simplest games and he gets a kick out of just finding me by listening to my voice or me trying to run away from him. Seeing him laugh and smile is the best thing ever.

Symptoms? Heartburn, pelvic pain, Braxton hicks, acne, and sometimes exhaustion.

Food cravings? Pastries! If I see it I want it. Donuts. Muffins. Cookies. MMM specially if they’re chocolate.

Food aversions? I try to stay away from spicy foods only because my heartburn can get really bad. I wouldn’t say I can’t stand them I just ask myself if they are worth it.

Gender? Im sure you’ve notice I’ve been writing HE, we are having another BOY! Momma so did not expect it but love that we pretty much have everything and will just have to rebuy items I threw away or gave a way.

Labor signs? Besides Braxton Hicks I would say no. They did get concerning about 2 weeks ago so I went in to get checked out. Possible dehydration on my part or just doing too much.

Belly button in or out? In- did not stick out with my son so we will see this time around.

What I miss? Nothing really. Maybe sitting on the floor comfortably to play with my son lol I know it’s only going to get worst so I hope he is ok with me sitting nearby.

What I'm looking forward to? Seeing my Baby Boy on our next ultrasound. I am amazed that he is growing quicker to Jesus. Wonder how much he will weigh at birth.

Milestones? We have surpassed the halfway point which I am happy about and wonder at the same time how time is flying by so quickly. This little man has been moving like a champ since 18 weeks and Daddy has been able to feel him since then. We were both pretty surprised and quickly agreed he is extremely active compared to how Jesus was in the womb.

Comparing both pregnancies I have to say this one symptom wise has been tougher. With Jesus I bled during the first trimester but never experienced any real pregnancy symptoms besides acne. So it was quite surprising to have quite a few with this little man. Nausea: Yup it was lingering around up until 18 weeks when it finally subsided. I would get the occasional nausea depending on what I ate and how my stomach took it or should I say little man took it. Exhaustion: OMG! I could not stay awake no matter how many hours I slept. Sleeping at work was a must which led to telling my manager very early on that I was expecting. I slowly got some energy back once I hit the 2nd trimester but not 100%. I was thankful that my husband would let me sleep when he was home and that our sleep schedule was working perfectly since he took 2 naps during the day and once he was down for the night he wouldn’t be up until 7 am. Heartburn: I did experience this with my previous pregnancy during the 3rd trimester but not severely like this one. Doesn’t matter what I eat it rears its ugly face. Coconut water usually helps alleviate it for a bit. ACNE: this one was also present with my previous one but now it’s much worst. Safe to say I am never going to be one of those pregnant women with beautiful complexions or glow as they call it. Appetite: Previous pregnancy I was ravenous, this one I had to force myself to eat because I felt full all the time. It has gotten better thankfully.
With a combination of all those symptoms I didn’t start taking bump pictures until 18 weeks. I know shocking but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I did take occasional ones here and there to send it to the hubs but it was usually in the restroom of my work. At the moment I am trying to prepare my son for the arrival of his baby brother. I constantly tell him there’s a baby in my tummy or ask him where the baby is at. I think he is getting the concept of it but probably just thinks momma is getting rounder bahaha! Also in preparation we are getting him use to interacting more with daddy since he will spend a lot more time with him once this baby is here. It’s working because he didn’t want mommy last night before bed, he wanted Daddy to put him down. Daddy also bathed and dressed him for bed. The only time J gets to spend some time with him is during the weekend since he gets home from work super late. Usually once he is down for his bedtime. He does get him up in the morning during the week and takes him to my mom’s before work. Hope this balance allows him to be more receptive to our new addition to the family.
We decided not to create another nursery since the boys will probably share a room for now until Jesus is older. The baby will be staying in our room like Jesus did up until 6-8 months. For now our spare room will remain a guest bedroom until we find the need to separate them. Besides the unnecessary stress in the beginning of the pregnancy and having to change OBs I think this pregnancy is going good. Sorry for the long post just wanted to give an update since it’s been a while.

I previously wrote a post about symptoms I was experiencing after giving birth to my son. Some which were migraines. They were so severe that I ended up going to the doctor for them. The doctor was very honest with me, which I greatly appreciated since most medical professionals just want to throw drugs down your throat and call it a day. She basically told me I could take medication for these migraines but if I wanted more kids she wouldn’t recommend it. We spoke about me seeing my acupuncturist to hopefully ease the discomfort of my migraines. Surprisingly she encouraged me to keep seeing her as she also believed it was triggered by a hormonal imbalance.

I started off going to a new acupuncture clinic only because I thought my insurance would cover it. Turns out I was wrong and I quickly ran back to my old time trusted acupuncturist. The acupuncturist was only focusing on my migraines when I kept insisting my hormones were playing a big part in all this. Don’t get me wrong, her techniques were working temporarily but given that she was charging me an arm and a leg to just focus on one thing!m I immediately said No thank you! While I waited on seeing my old acupuncturist I started researching a site I constantly went to in my long years of TTC. Natural Fertility Shop I knew if I wanted my body to “reset” itself I needed to give it a little boost so I purchased a cleanse products for J and I. (I had bought the cleanse for myself in the past al though I never took it since we started IVF right after purchasing it.)

Before purchasing these products J and I had a serious conversation because they weren’t cheap but definitely cheaper than treatment. We both agreed we would sacrifice certain things while doing the cleanse.

What we gave up

1. Alcohol- both of us although I am not much of a drinker so this wasn’t difficult for me
2. Caffeine- J isn’t much of a coffee person so this part was more for me than him. He of course drinks energy drinks once in awhile so that was a no no as well.
3. No smoking- solely J as I’m not a smoker
4. Cut back on sugar in take – guilty! J isn’t a fan of sweets so I blame it on my PCOS


Before my son was born we had talked about when we would go back to treatment to have a second child. Since I had my son via c-section they told me right off the bat that I had to wait until he was a year in order for us to go back into treatment. We were ok with that since we wanted to enjoy time with our son before going back into the stress of appointments, medical bills, etc. With that in mind I told J I wanted to try on our own once he was 6 months just to see what happened. I wasn’t going all cray cray like before trying to time everything accordingly. Only thing I would do is confirmed I ovulated with BBT charting so I could get an idea of when my period would start. Any who, once I received the products I took them straight to my acupuncturist. She looked over the ingredients and encouraged me to keep taking them. During the cleanse I emailed her complaining that my body just wouldn’t get it together. It seemed as if we succeeded in fixing one issue but another would arise. I was literately crying when I wrote her that email. She of course told me to take a deep breath because she saw it as a good sign. When our bodies are trying to normalize themselves they act differently.

At the moment I believed my lutheal phase had shorten out when it had never been a problem before. We later found out that my body was in fact ovulating earlier but BBT charting wasn’t reflecting that. Slow rising progesterone? Who knows?

During my time with her she would ask me if we were trying or just seeing what happened. Considering that my cycles were extremely irregular I always said we are just going with the flow. I honestly didn’t want to stress about if and when I ovulated but thanks to mittelschmerz I knew what side I ovulated from since I would experience pain/ soreness for a couple days. That is when I would pull out my thermometer to confirm it was in fact ovulation. The month we conceived was the month I least expected it to happen. Ovulation occurred from my left side, which is my blocked side so I was simply waiting on the right moment to call our clinic to give them a heads up that we wanted to begin the process to start trying for baby #2. The way things happened was actually pretty odd. My coworkers and I decided to order take out for lunch since it was Friday. Once our food arrived I took one bite then set it aside. I suddenly felt extremely full but brushed it off that I was probably starting to get bloated since the witch was around the corner. A couple hours passed by with the same full feeling in my stomach so I forced myself to eat the rest of my food. I hadn’t ate anything all day so I had to push myself to get something in my system. During this time I was working weekends….I know torture!! On Saturday we had a breakfast potluck and I was so ready to stuff my face. Or so I thought. If you know me personally I am known for my eating habits. After having my son my thyroid had the opposite reaction, I couldn’t gain weight and al though some may see this as a blessing I was unhappy with it. I constantly got asked if I was ok due to me losing to much weight after having my little man. So you can imagine how much I ate to try to put on some pounds. I grabbed everything I assumed I would be able to devour BUT my body had other plans. Once again it said “Nope we feel rather full here”. I literately had taken one bite! One bite!!

A co worker passed by my desk and made a joke that I was eating for two. I just laughed and said I was practicing. Little did I know that comment would be the reason I decided to test. Monday came around and I couldn’t shake the fullness feeling so I started googling. Everything that popped up was women saying that was their only symptoms before they found out they were pregnant. I actually found those post annoying and said “must be nice.” Mid afternoon I really had to pee so I ran to the restroom and said what the heck maybe its all mental and once I that ngative test my body would go back to being itself. My son crawled into the restroom so I rushed to stop him from getting into the tub and as I picked him up I was so close on walking out the door when I remembered about the test. I turned to see and just froze right on the spot. My body started feeling all sweaty, shaky, and I began to hyperventilate. I went to get my phone so I can send a picture to J. I think he was in denial as much as I was since his response was “ I don’t trust those test.” With that remark I immediately sent the picture to my favorite nurse at our fertility clinic. Her response was a shocked emoji and in the nicest way possible asked when I could come in for a blood draw. That same afternoon I went in for beta #1 once confirmed I was put on all my medication the following day. They ran another beta to make sure things were progressing and then scheduled ultrasound. My ultrasound was schedule at 5 weeks since she assumed I was further along going from LMP. Although my Dr went off my beta #s and she knew I would be around 5 weeks. Given that I made a comment about ovulating from the left side she wanted to make sure everything was in the right place.

As crazy as it seems right before I found out I had a conversation with God in one of my dreams. We talked about my desire to help another couple start their family. To be honest it was a sudden feeling that I told him if we were lucky enough to expand our family further naturally I would give my two remaining embryos to a loving couple. We both agreed to explore this idea once this blessing is born. J is on board with my decision and wants me to do what my heart desires. Of course he doesn't know how he will react knowing our biological children could be born to another family so we are hoping we can create a bond in order to keep in touch with the couple we end up donating too. Only time will tell how this new journey will unravel but I've asked God to guide us to the right family.

On May 10th we got to see our Blessing snuggled in mamas uterus. Al though we did not see a heart beat I just knew at that moment I needed to trust Him. My pregnancy with Jesus was all worry from the gecko. I promised myself that even though it was difficult I needed to put my worries aside in order for me to enjoy this pregnancy. J was a bit more skeptical and even asked the doctor how this was even possible after everything we went through to have our son. She just smiled then told him that sometimes-unexplainable things happen and seeing that I in fact ovulated from my blocked side makes our story even greater. Since we didn’t know what was going to happen I called my OBs office a little late in my pregnancy and I wasn’t able to get in earlier than 12 weeks. Dr B at our fertility clinic said she was happy to monitor me until 10 weeks so I didn’t have to wait a while to see our little blessing.

Everything so far is going great. I was able to see my old OB at 12 weeks that lead to us deciding it was best to look for a new practice. That is another post within itself…I should be seeing my new doctor at the end of this month. He did refer me to my old MFM so she would be keeping an eye on me as well throughout my pregnancy. I actually see her tomorrow for the first time so that is going to be nice since I have not had any first trimester screening as of yet. Once we get this new doctor stuff out of the way I think I will be less stress about where the heck am I delivering.

As I don't have time to write what I want I will repost what I wrote on my social media. Once I find the time I will elaborate on this great miracle.


Most of you are aware that our journey to parenthood did not come easy. We went through countless fertility treatments experiencing miscarriages along the way to finally have our son. We never imagined the impossible would become possible after all the heartache we endured. Fear was the first emotion that took over me when I found out I was pregnant. Fear that it might be an ectopic pregnancy since I knew I had ovulated from my blocked side. Fear that we might of caught this pregnancy too late and my body would start miscarrying before we can prevent it. I was struggling with putting that fear aside until we saw a beautiful sac snuggled in the right place. Once it was confirmed I did in fact ovulate from my blocked side I knew at that moment this was a blessing from God. In the midst of us still in disbelieve this was actually happening we gathered all our worries and place them in God's hands. Although our babies were conceived in very different ways I am pleased that Dr Balthazar and her wonderful staff Amy Alyssa Altamirano, from RMA of Texas, looked over both pregnancies until I was able to get into my regular provider. I also have to give thanks to the most wonderful acupuncturist Melsa Maher for working her magic and always lending an ear when needed. Words cannot express how grateful we are that God has given us the opportunity to make Jesus a big brother. Our little blessing Mommy and Daddy cant wait to meet you come January.

Stats: Weight is probably 18-19lbs by now. He wears 12 month clothing right now and size 4 shoe.

Nicknames: Crazy wild child • Mr. Flirt • Daddy's twin • Mr. Grump



Likes: Climbing on everything even if he doesn't know how to get down, head budding, playing with his ball pit, still cruising along things, clapping but with one hand fist closed, he raises his hands to the sky and I tell him he's praising and thanking God. He loves to look outside the window and just talk away. He loves seeing/ hearing daddy, he wears the biggest smile when he sees him walk in from work. I think his love grew since he takes care of him all weekend while mommy works. Go Dad!



Dislikes: He isn't a fan when we try to encourage him to walk by himself. He gets so upset that he sits down and crawls away so fast from us and refuses to get up again. Ooops! Someone's scared. The word No is probably the worst thing he can hear and sheds a couple tears. When he's too hyper and doesn't want to nap even though we can see it in his eyes he's about to collapse.

Special Skills: He has many facial expression to let us know he isn't feeling something. Whether it's food or an activity. He rather eat with his hands than being fed with a spoon, this can change day to day basis sometimes he's ok with us feeding him other days he won't eat unless he's putting it in his mouth himself. He always manages to get people to give him attention, it can be known people or randoms at the store. He loves it when it's women too. (Mommy is in for a big one).



Sleeping: I won't sleep til he's probably a teenager or never! It's ok though...waking up watching him go back to sleep once he sees me in his room is the most heart warming thing ever, more so when he sleeps like his father. Crazy resemblance.

A part of me is excited to see him finally walking but another scares the heck out of me. He's my crazy wild child that I can't turn around for two seconds with out him spotting out something new to get to. I literally have to barricade him in the family room with all his toys so I can get house work done with no interruptions. He of course spots me from afar and screams at me for locking him in. Bahaha! I'm thankful for open space concept!!

Mommy hood is everything I imagined plus more. It's definitely something no one can prepare u for. You figure it out and u do what's best for u and ur child.

Stats: Weight 17lbs and some ounces, I honestly forgot. He's always been on the lower end of the spectrum of the percentile chart. Height 28.7 inches.

Nicknames: Grumpy, Prince/ In Spanish: Gordo, Mayito, Chuyito, Mulo, loquito



Likes: Cruising along everything he can. He rather get into things than play with his toys. Loves food and screams at the top of lungs if you dont give him what he wants.



Dislikes: To be told No. Taking naps. When you stop him from getting into things he isnt suppose to.

Special Skills: Crawling, standing, cruising along furniture, beginning to give kisses when he feels like it. Hes a grunter too.



Sleeping: Nothing new to report in his sleeping habits as this momma is still waking up in the middle of the night. One day.

Our love story began in high school and continued to grow through out the years. Strangely I've always known having our family wouldn't come easy for us. As a teenager I suffered from irregular cycles. I consulted with several doctors from the moment I turned 18 and was always pushed off saying I was still young my hormones just needed to regulate themselves. I hit my breaking point when the last Doctor I saw had the nerve to tell me "What's the hurry you are only 22 years old? My wife and I just had our first after we both finished our doctoral degrees." My jaw dropped at the absurd comment he made. I was there questioning why I hadn't fallen pregnant in the last couple years of not using protection. An ooops was bound to happen right? Obviously I became extremely concerned that something was seriously wrong and I didn't want to wait until I was in my 30's to find out having a child wouldn't come easy. A month after I turned 23 I finally sought out a reproductive endocrinologist's opinion. We discussed the ridiculously long cycles I was having or not having. The fact that I had been to the ER once before due to severe pelvic pain, turned out to be a ruptured cyst. At the whooping age of 23 I was diagnosed with PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Given my age he had extremely high hopes I would get pregnant right away with Clomid. After our first failed IUI he became very pessimistic. He sent me to get an HSG done to check my tubes. Unfortunately, my cervix was not cooperating and it was an epic fail. We went ahead with a second IUI plus an increase in clomid dosage. My body had a hard time with the higher dosage that my lining was thin and it surged before Follicles were matured. Again his pessimism began to show that he went as far as telling the nurse to give me a pamphlet for IVF. He argued that I was extremely young that the only possibility it wasn't working because my tubes were blocked. Now he was that far off with his presumptions as I do have one blocked tube. Although I always ovulated from the good side.

We ended up doing 2 IUIs with our first RE then moved on to a new specialist. It was important to me to feel like a person not a number or another statistic in their books. Our new fertility clinic was amazing. We ended up doing another IUI which failed at that point I had accepted it wasn't going to work. My age played a big factor in my protocol. My new RE didn't feel comfortable using IUI + injections. The risk of multiples sky rocketed with my age and therefor there was no way they were going to allow me to even try. In our preparation for IVF we discovered I suffered from uterine polyps, a blocked Fallopian tube, and a tilted uterus. After suffering from two miscarriages further testing confirmed I am a carrier of 2 mutations of MTHFR and tested positive for lupus anticoagulants. Finding this out was probably the hardest pill I had to swallow. When we discussed IVF our Doctor didn't believe we needed those gratings since I was "young". There's never a day I don't regret pushing them to do it anyway to cover our bases. I wish I just would have checked everything off the list as a precaution. It wasn't until my miscarriages that I dove in to be my own advocate on what could be causing them. I jotted all my concerns and set up a consult with my new RE, same clinic. Did I mention I saw 3 REs at this clinic? My first went on maternity leave at the start of my IVF cycle. The second left after my first miscarriage and didn't bother to say his goodbyes. Then came Dr Balthazar the angel God sent my way. We share the same Birthday and we managed to knock me up and keep me pregnant so I can have a Leo just like his mama.

Regardless of how much fear was in my heart I was grateful that this diagnosis allowed us to have a successful and healthy pregnancy. This journey wasn't easy that I found myself questioning if I would ever have the privilege to be called mommy, not just angel mommy. The fear started building up when I saw we had 3 remaining embryos left from 10! We had 1 fresh transfer of one beautiful embryo, 4 FETs that varied between 1 & 2 embryos. FET #4 was our successful cycle with one embryo. If Infertility wasn't enough I had to deal with sporadic heavy bleeding through my first trimester. We honestly thought it was going to end up in another miscarriage just like the previous two. With Gods grace our little miracle held on and I stopped bleeding at exactly 10 weeks.

Never would have thought we would be going down this road at the whooping age of 23 and finally ending at 26. Three long painful years but we never gave up. Keep on fighting and always be your own advocate during this struggle. Yes REs are knowledgeable but you aren't their only patient. If you pushed them in the right direction you will become a team in your success.

In light of National Infertility Awareness Week I want to give an update on how I am doing.

Everyone thinks once you cross to the other side, as some of us like to call it, your mentality changes in regards to infertility. Well that is not the case. Yes my heart feels like it can burst into a million pieces with just one look at my little miracle BUT I am constantly being reminded that my body doesn't function normally. My symptoms have been so severe that I break down from time to time feeling hopeless. Before my diagnosis of PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I had minimal symptoms. My cycles ranged anywhere from 30 - 60 days apart with excruciating pain on the start of my cycle. After having my son my cycles returned when he was 4 months. Little did I know it was the start of major PCOS symptoms. At first I chopped it up to my hormones trying to regulate themselves and my body just needed time to heal.

After two cycles I became an emotional wreck quickly realizing that what I was experiencing wasn't normal. I set up an appointment with my trusted acupuncturist. At my consult we went over all my symptoms which she immediately concluded my PCOS had came back with a vengeance.

I became very aware of when I ovulated due to the intense pain I got from whatever side the follicle was released. If that wasn't enough I would begin to feel extremely nauseous soon after. Followed by extreme migraines, as a matter of fact the migraines were a constant thing. I knew I was gearing up to ovulate once my migraines started up then they intensified once i did. It was a never ending battle of not being able to do daily task or concentrate at work. Hence the emotional breakdown and constant crying. The lack of sleep was more dreadful than ever, not because of my waking child. Fear of opening my eyes to endure my migraines. I felt incapable of taking care of my son at times. Feeling hopeless my husband had to step in to help during those difficult days.

After several sessions of acupuncture my migraines led off. They became sporadic instead of constant. Although other symptoms are still lingering around I am hopeful that with lifestyle changes, plus a little help from natural remedies, my body will start adjusting itself. I fear that I may always have to rely on these methods to have control of my body. So no I don't feel like I beat infertility since I am constantly being reminded that my body doesn't function normally. Yes, I am finally a momma but becoming one didn't instantly remove the title of infertile. Infertility will always be a great part of me. It made me aware which encouraged me to become knowledgeable in my diagnosis and be my own advocate on how to treat PCOS. I refuse to let modern medicine prescribe birth control pills to relief my symptoms.
I've fought through so many obstacles to have my miracle baby and I will continue to fight in order for my body to "fix" itself.

I am, will always be, an infertile woman who will never stop fighting PCOS.

Stats: Have no idea but he's getting heavier (:

Nicknames: The Hulk, Grumpy, Prince/ In Spanish: Gordo, Mayito, Chuyito, Mulo, loquito

Likes: Interaction with kids or anyone that will entertain him. He loves to pull hair, being on the trampoline, swing, outdoors in general, he loves his new puppy Miss Kitana, apparently phones which I'm not particularly fond of but I use it to get him to start moving from point A to B.

Dislikes: Still hates to be told it's mimi time. When you tell him no. If he can't get what he wants he will throw a fit and throws everything you give him because apparently we aren't understand he wants things he can't play with. The funniest one is he hates pooping. Lol but he's good about doing his business so there's no constipation.

Special Skills: Hes an eater and he isn't particularly picky either. Is semi crawling, he has the whole going backwards crawling down but needs to work on moving forward, he takes two steps forward and then gives up BUT if you have a cell phone insight he will find away to get to it lol. Walking while you hold his hand has to be one of his favorites.

Sleeping: I've concluded I will be on #teamnosleep for awhile. Don't get me wrong he wakes up at 12am then until 5:30 am before I officially have to get up but those wake ups really get to my eyes.

Stats: 16.14 oz as of today

Nicknames: Mr. Grump, Izzy, Prince/ In Spanish: Gordo, Mayito, Chuyito Mi vida

Likes: Getting into everything. If he can reach for it he will grab it play with it, throw it, toss it, whatever he can manage. He loves food! There isnt anything he wont eat with out screaming for more. He loves plain greek yogurt with smashed fruits. He loves seeing other kids running around or playing with him. Going bye bye or just being outside.

Dislikes: When we lay him down to go to sleep. Being alone at any given time.

Special Skills: Grunts like a champ. He fights you off when he's in a grumpy mood. Manages to get from point A to point B by rolling or dragging himself.

Sleeping: This is still hit or miss. Depending on how hungry he gets during the night. Usually up once before I have to wake up and again once I am awake.

My goal was to update more frequently but my job decided to block this site and at home I have 0 to no free time available. Last night we had a little scare since he woke up around 12:30 throwing up. It continued until almost 3 am. My poor baby was extremely tired that he couldn't stay up every time he threw up. He finally managed to fall asleep we were so paranoid we slept with the lights on. Around 5:30 am he woke up hungry and managed to keep his milk down. I took him in to get checked out just to make sure everything was ok even though he looked completely fine. The nurse practitioner said he must of ate something that didnt settle well in his tummy and after he threw it up he was fine. Whatever it was it scared the heck out of us. I was glad to see him back to himself when he woke up though and enjoyed a full day with him. Made me realize how much I miss out on when I am at work. Ugh! #strugglesofaworkingmom

Stats: Not 100% sure but I am guess-mating around 15 – 16lbs. Height anywhere from 25 inch. Might be off.

Nicknames: Mr. Grump, Izzy, Prince/ In Spanish: Gordo, Mayito, Chuyito Mi vida

Likes: Blankets. Rolling around. Anything red, orange, or lime green. Bath time. Mommy running her fingers through his hair. Sleeping on his side. Standing- if we are next to him he will reach out to grab ur hands and pull himself up. 

Dislikes: Formula, he only takes it if he’s really hungry or its warmed up. The transitioning hasn’t been so bad but I think he is taking every moment mommy actually breast feeds him instead of pumping and bottle feeding. Hates tummy time but it doesn’t stop him from rolling around everywhere. Of course once he realizes he is on his stomach he whines about it. Hahaha!  Being tied down; will squirm, push, pull to try and get out.

Special Skills: Rolls around like a pro, al though he mostly prefers rolling to his left side. He makes this weird coughing noise and laughs afterwards; I assume that he is practicing his vocabularies. 

Sleeping: He was back to waking up once during the night but it honestly depends on his sleep patterns during the day. Some nights he has nightmares and he wont stop crying until I pick him up and talk to him. Usually goes right back to sleep when he realizes I am there.

 

I always told myself I would breast feed for 6 months and slowly transition him into formula. Considering that my cycle started up again at exactly 4 months pp my supply is just not the same around the time I ovulate/ during cycle. So I started the transition a month early considering I had to supplement during this time. What surprises me is that my cycles seem to have regulated which makes me wonder if PCOS is still lingering around. I guess time will only tell how long it will last. I was regular when I started my cycle as a teenager then out of nowhere PCOS creeped into my life.

We spent the holidays in California which felt different. I will hopefully get some time to write a post about it. I hope everyone’s 2016 year is starting out with lots of blessings.

We decided to spend the holidays in California this year. Its been years since we have been with J's family for the holidays. I was a bit nervous traveling with this little man on the airplane but he did really good. I nursed him on the way up and he slept all through the flight. We left Texas just in time too since apparently it's getting warm over there. Weather here is kinda all over the place. From rain to gloomy weather but it only means we packed just right.

Now I leave u with some Christmas photos.

Who knew that ovulation and a menstrual cycle can affect your milk supply. I went from having 7 oz at each pumping session to 5 to barely 3 oz. Whoa! Baby boy is also not liking the taste of breast milk while I'm on my cycle. Thank goodness for formula. I've been told my supply should go back up once I'm done cycling but who knows.

On another note I also learned that exclusively breast fed babies don't poop everyday or every other day. My son goes anywhere from 4- 7 days between poops. I have taken him to the doctors for it but not because he's fussy just because I got worried. He was extremely happy during his appt that doctor said its normal if he's not crying or complaining then let him poop when he wants. All his stools are still loose when he does go so I guess he's good. Just had his 4 month check up and doctor once again said its normal and my son was a very active baby no signs of alarm.

So there you go folks new things I've learned.

PPS. First cycle after baby is the worst. :'(

Stats: I am not sure of his weight until Monday but he was at the doctors two weeks ago weighing in at 13lbs 2 oz. He is still wearing 3-6 month clothing depending on the brand of course.

Nicknames: Mr. Grump, Izzy, Prince/ In Spanish: Gordo, Mayito, Chuyito

Likes: Still in love with blankets. His face expression is actually pretty priceless when you give him a blanket. He loves to sit with Dad in the afternoon while Mommy is cooking, next thing I know he’s a sleep in Dad’s arm. He likes soft toys that have lots of colors; his face expression when he sees them is as priceless as the one for his blankie. This kid is a lover of people in general; if you talk to him he will give you the biggest smile ever. Bath time is still his favorite.

Dislikes: Still isn’t a fan of tummy time. He prefers being in his Rock N Play (which he is growing out of fast), bouncer, or just laying around somewhere than being held for long periods of time. Since my supply has strangely diminished we introduced formula this week at first he was ok with it but now he seems to know the difference and spits it out. Luckily he gets one or two bottle max of formula so it allows me to wean him in to it a bit.

Special Skills: He knows how to get people to do what he wants. Wish I was that talented! I guess people cant resist his little pouty face. Plus that hair! He knows how to remove his pacifier with his hand now, I think he enjoys this part until he realizes he can’t get it back into his mouth. Singing until he frustrates himself, you literately hear a nice little rhythm coming from him until it turns into a full on scream. Attention seeker! He also farts like a grown kid and gets a kick out of you telling him eww!

He got to meet his Great Grammy and she put him to sleep real quick. 
Sleeping: Hit or miss depending on his sleep pattern during the day. With the cold weather coming around he started waking up every 1.5 hours until I finally left him by my side. Mommy got smart and put a blanket underneath him and two blankets over him tucking his arms on top. (Now I know they say its not safe to give babies blankets but his co sleeper is literally attached to my bed where I can watch him. My son has never pulled his blankets over his head he actually puts his arms on top of the blanket to avoid them moving. Sometimes I catch him covering his arms when he is cold and its strange because he does it in a way that the blanket still stays away from his shoulder area. Either way whenever he wants his blanket off because he is hot he kicks them off until he is completely uncovered.) So yes this kid surprises me with the way he sleeps.

No one can truly understand what you are going through unless they've been through it themselves.

A fellow colleague said those exact words to me the other day. Her sister in law just had a baby last week after experiencing infertility for a couple years. Our conversation started discussing pregnancy experiences which also resulted in speaking of miscarriages. I have never been ashamed or shy about our infertility struggles, truthfully no one was aware of our treatment since I was new to the department. My pregnancy remained a secret until I was five months pregnant only because my manager encouraged me to share it with everyone. My opinion people were beginning to question one another if I was pregnant. LOL! Anywho, when she began to tell me about her SILs struggles my heart skipped a beat. She went through 3 IUIs all resulting in BFNs. I could see the true emotions in her face expressions. Here she was feeling guilty of how fertile she was while her dear SIL struggled to get pregnant throughout many years.

Here I was with three pregnancies under my belt, one resulting in a miscarriage, but still it was three when she couldn't get pregnant at all. I felt horrible because I knew I was probably adding on to her pain.

I personally have never heard a fertile women say such nice caring genuine things about someone struggling. There bond was so strong that her SIL admitted to her how she hated all those teenagers having babies, women abusing, killing, etc their babies. All the emotions that we have felt throughout this rollercoaster of a journey she was 100% aware of and didn't judge her. Hearing all this was music to my ears. It comforted me in such a way that I let her in to my own world of IF. At first I saw that guilty expression come over her realizing that some of her comments to me might have stung a bit. We were able to share our experiences on miscarriages. The emotional rollercoaster you go through when you hear those words come out of the doctor's mouth. You feel paralyze, denial, sick and you wished it was all a dream. We also discussed how difficult it was to enjoy our pregnancy after experiencing a miscarriage. I was able to relate on buying a Doppler to make sure there was still a heart beat, our husbands thinking we were insane and forbid us to use it frequently.

I never thought I would be able to speak to a woman who didn't have trouble conceiving and be understood. She wished us luck on TTC on our own if not then gave us her best wishes on getting knocked up again with a little help from science. To that I say thank you for listening to your struggling SIL, to being open about others emotions you truly have an amazing heart.

Lately I've been an emotional hormonal momma. Tears start flowing over things I cannot control but wished I could. On October 15th for Pregnancy & Infant loss I shed many tears. Not only for me but for everyone who has lost their beautiful babies. While lighting a candle that night I held my son tightly I told him about his siblings and how they were looking over him in heaven. Although he truly fills my heart with blissful love I can't seem to feel saddened by the women who are still experiencing failed cycles, miscarriages, or another disappointment. It pains my heart to see them continuing to struggle. Our journey to Baby Izzy wasn't easy and it took what you would call experimental cycles. I say experimental because it took a couple failures and miscarriages to find out the plan that worked for us. It wasn't easy it was an emotional toll that J was hesitant on allowing me to continue with fertility treatments. 

I wish I could do something to heal their broken hearts during this waiting game. Every night before I go to sleep I give thanks to Him for never leaving my side during the ups and downs in my journey. I also ask for everyone one of you ladies still struggling or dealing with a difficult time. 

Even out of the trenches my mind and heart still fear IF. We know we want more children in the future and the thought of someone else in my family having yet another kid before I can conceive a second child taunts me. How could my mind have these thoughts when Izzy is my greatest joy in my life? Everyone talks about how your body might just know what to do on its own after having a baby but what if it doesn't, will I be ok emotionally? 

Sorry I might sound selfish for having these thoughts when there is lots of you out there still struggling to have a baby. I just never thought I would experience these same emotions that I would read on other peoples blogs. I guess IF never really leaves your mind alone. 

Again sorry for that pitty sentences I wrote. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and stays warm. 

Stats: I am not sure of his weight but he is wearing 3-6 month clothing and 6-12 month socks.

Nicknames: Mr. Grump, Izzy/ In Spanish: Gordo, Mayito, Chuyito

Likes: I wouldn’t say he likes his blanket because he loves it. If he’s restless or grumpy I put his little blankie over his feet he’ll grab it and has a blast with it. He will either suck on it or holds it with some singing involved. I picture him singing a blankie lullaby. Speaking of blankets he also loves to be wrapped up like a burrito, it totally makes his day. I hope he doesn’t grow out of this since he doesn’t fuss in the AM when I am getting him ready to take to grammy’s house. He still loves me running my fingers through his hair as well as me holding his hands when he’s chillen in his boppy pillow or bumbo seat.

Dislikes: Tummy time, what baby loves tummy time?? He doesn’t like it when hes held like a baby, only time he lets you do this is when he’s wrapped up in a blanket. So you have to hold him sitting up with his back up against ur chest. Or he will tolerate being held looking over your shoulder.

Special Skills: He’s a screamer. Lol. Not in a bad way he just screams until you give him attention. No picking up is required just give him a little love and he’s a happy camper.

Sleeping: It all depends on his mood for the day. My mom says he takes anywhere from cat naps or up to an hour. Which means he’s a good sleeper at night, only wakes up once and its usually right around the time I need to get up for work. I usually feed him and he’s out again until I wake him up to take him to grammy’s.

Mommy: I am starting to get a routine going on now that I am back at work. Its also getting easier leaving him behind even though he's in good hands I miss him dearly. Now that I am back at work I am eating more frequently, it could be out of boredom, but I don't mind it since J tells me all the time that I need to gain weight. In all honesty I agree with him but I don't see that happening until I stop breastfeeding. The hunger is no joke that I grab anything in sight. Ugh! Even with the unhealthy decisions I cant seem to gain any weight only lose weight.

Daddy: He gets a kick out of everything Izzy does. Im sure these two will have a great bond since he loves seeing his dad.

Throughout my pregnancy I constantly got told how exhausted I would be when baby arrived. If we didn't do team work I would become frustrated. To enjoy getting ready now before baby came because I could kiss those days goodbye. Blah Blah Blah! Same ol same ol stuff. Why don't people talk about significant things that you might come across so you wont question is this normal? So I decided I would write a post about my post partum experiences. Now I do realize not everyone goes through the same things but I wished these were the types of things women would have spoken to me about.

SEX
I recall my cousin telling me to enjoy it now before baby arrived. In her experienced she couldn't stand her baby's father to touch her. Her hormones were all over the place that the thought of having sex was not appealing. My experience, well lets just say I thought the 6 week waiting period was torture. Of course I kept these comments to myself because knowing J he would somehow convince me it would be ok to break the rules. Two or three days before my 6 week follow up I told myself "who cares its only a couple days". We attempted to do the deed and it ended in an epic fail. I was in a lot of pain that it was not worth it. My incision was not painful at all it was penetration. (Sorry TMI but like I mentioned I wish someone would have told me) I felt dry, even though J claims otherwise, I felt like I was being ripped open and it hurt when I tried using the restroom. I knew it wasn't a UTI but decided to ask my doctor about it anyways. Which leads me to my next subject.

Breastfeeding

Everyone points out all the great benefits of breastfeeding and doesn't speak about the side effects. Now before I continue on this subject I want to say I love breastfeeding even with the bad side effects. At my 6 week appointment I curiously asked the doctor if it was normal to experience dryness after delivering a baby. He laughed held my hand then said, "Everyone talks about the wonders of breastfeeding but they refuse to point out the side effects. Don't get me wrong you are doing such a wonderful thing for your baby you just have to adjust to these new changes." Breastfeeding causes dryness, random spotting (mine stopped completely at 8 weeks), constant hunger, and if you experience engorgement its quite painful. I personally feel when my milk is coming in and its such a weird feeling that at first it made me stop in my tracks. Not everyone has the privilege to experience these lovely symptoms but I did. As for why it was painful when we attempted to have sex well apparently when you deliver the placenta your brain gets a signal to tighten up again. After a few uncomfortable attempts things went back to normal, thankfully because I read some scary stories out there. Lastly, I have to avoid all dairy products specially milk because baby boy can't digest it right. No he's not lactose intolerant but the protein in dairy products hurt his tummy which causes bleeding.

Sleep

Do I miss it? No. Baby boy isn't that bad when he wakes up. I can simply grab him from his cosleeper stick him to the boob and he's out again. Depending on how much sleep he gets during the day he will only wake up once during the night the most twice. Before coming back to work I was able to take naps during the day. Now I am able to get to sleep earlier at night instead of tossing and turning for hours. So I guess sleep is a hit or miss depending on baby.

These are a few things I wish people would have shoved down my throat instead of useless info we hear every time someone is pregnant. I'm currently pretending to work so I have to say goodbye for now. Hope this info helps some of you new mommas or future mommas. I constantly had to be asking these personal questions to friends that didn't mind talking about the subjects.

Its been a while since I've updated my blog. Its always on the back of my mind and I begin to write post but never have the time to finish them. Hopefully I can squeeze some time now that I am officially back at work. Maybe next week since I am still trying to get back in the groove of working plus I don't have access to most of my stuff which leads to being away from my desk throughout the day. Even though I am not writing I am keeping up with everyone's blogs for the most part.

There is not one day that I dont think, pray, sob, etc for all my TTC sisters. Even though I have officially crossed over the pain still lingers from my own journey regardless of how much joy my son brings me. Don't ever lose hope even when the odds are against you.



.....hope to write a longer post sooner rather than later.

I was undecided if I wanted to write monthly updates for my son since there's so many mixed emotions. Ultimately I made the decision to give it a try since I would love for my son to look back on these when he is older. I've always been able to embrace my IF journey even when things went wrong or not what we expected. Seeing other women beat infertility actually gave me strength and determination to not give up on our miracle. I understand if you are not able to read along if you are still in the trenches, no resentment as we all deal with our emotions differently. Just know I am always praying for all you ladies still waiting on your miracle baby(ies).

Stats: Baby Boy is 9 lbs 10 oz 21 inches long. He is wearing 3 month clothing from Carter brand. There's other brands that he wears 0-3 months or 3-6 months. Its ridiculous how sizes vary with each brand so if I don't pay attention he may never wear them. He is also wearing size 1 diapers.

Likes: He loves his Rock N Play, white noise when he's going to sleep at night, TUMMY TIME! (only on the nursing pillow the other way he starts fuzzing after 2 mins), Mommy running her fingers through his hair, bath time, and of course feeding time. I always know he's had enough to eat when he just lays there and smiles with his eyes closed, silly kiddo.

Dislikes: When I clean his face with a wipe. Tummy time when i just lay him flat on his stomach. As strange as it may sound he does not like being carried for a long time. Baby Izzy gets hot easily and rather be left alone unless he's eating. Good thing is that he wont get used to being carried.

Special Skills: He is a squirmer...when people hold him he squirms around as if he wants to get loosed. He even pushes up with his feet so if your not paying attention he will head bud you. Impressively he can hold his head up for a lot longer than I presumed he could at this age...he loves looking around. My favorite skill is when he screams to get your attention because it sounds like he is saying HEY!. LOL!

Sleeping: The norm 2-3 hours during the day he can go up to 4 hours. One night I got lucky and he slept 4 1/2 hours.

My baby boy is all ready for football season!

As for momma well she's finally back to her pre-pregnancy weight. I believe breastfeeding has helped out a lot plus I have been suffering from gastritis lately that I have to eat a low fat diet. Its not fun being in pain while trying to take care of a newborn. I am extremely grateful my mother lives nearby and comes to my rescue every time, even my little brother who is 10 came to my rescue and put baby Izzy to sleep while I was throwing up in the restroom. That kid has skills thats all I have to say and patience. Besides the pain from gastritis I am doing wonderful. I love being a mom to the point that I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night with my little booger. I am sure that will change when I go back to work.

One thing that has been constantly on my mind is the fact that I miss being pregnant. I am not sure if its the effects of IF but I am already talking to J about another baby. This feeling is so strong sometimes that its all I think about which makes J think I am crazy. People constantly ask me if I will be preventing and of course I say no but considering how long it took us to have our son I dont expect to get pregnant any time soon. I just hope my two frozen embies will survive when we are ready to place them back into their home.