Lately my feelings have been all over the place. I don't know if I should be excited or just let my true emotions show. Since holiday season is here I am trying to stay at peace with myself for the sake of the people around me, who are indeed enjoying this time of year. I decided to just go with the flow. Lately, I have been outside playing with my nieces (8,6,2). I don't really like to "hang out" with them as you may call it. A part of me feels envy AND another part makes me work twice as hard to reach my dream. Anywho, one day I was outside playing with the two year old, Jayleen, and her sister Jesselle decided to join us as well. We were at the playground set just having a jolly good old time. Did I say OLD? LOL! Here's the story, my 2 yr old niece was playing with a weird looking metal thing that comes with the playground set. It kinda looks like a walker for elderly ppl. I had the brilliant idea to tell her to walk around like she was an "old lady"
. HAHAHA! It makes me laugh just picturing her. She started walking around with it and her sister and I started telling her she was walking to fast. WHOA! Did she get offended. She went up to Jesselle while she was swinging and yelled out, "You OLD LADY!" We both looked at each other with such a shocking face and the only thing that came out of Jesselle's mouth was,"Did she just call me an old lady?" Jay,"Ya I did." She started running giggling the whole way. Where was she going? I have no idea. When she came back I saw my brother running to the garage to get some tools for the porch they are building at his house. I told my niece, "Look there's your dad running. Yell out at him and say run old man run." Jay, "No. I can't say that." Me, "Why?" Jay, "Cause my daddy is not old." Me, "Your sister isn't old and you called her old lady." Jay,"Ya she is! Old Lady!" Once again she ran off giggling the whole way.
Once that day was over I realized that I was not spending enough time with them. They grow so fast! I was going through some old pictures and happened to come across a picture of them for Halloween in 2011 and I compared it to 2012. BOY is there a big difference. It got me curious so I started going through my laptop and found videos and pictures of when Jay was born. I almost cried. I knew right there and then that I did not want to waste anymore time on being miserable day in and day out, because I can't bare a child of my own. These girls mean the world to me and I want to be a part of their lifes as they get older and grow into beautiful young ladies. (Hopefully not in a blink of an eye). I don't want them to just see me as just another aunt. I want to be known as "thee" aunt lol!
Well I hope everyone enjoys their holidays, I probably won't be updating my blog for awhile. For those of use who are still waiting on our little miracle I ask of you not to lose HOPE.
. HAHAHA! It makes me laugh just picturing her. She started walking around with it and her sister and I started telling her she was walking to fast. WHOA! Did she get offended. She went up to Jesselle while she was swinging and yelled out, "You OLD LADY!" We both looked at each other with such a shocking face and the only thing that came out of Jesselle's mouth was,"Did she just call me an old lady?" Jay,"Ya I did." She started running giggling the whole way. Where was she going? I have no idea. When she came back I saw my brother running to the garage to get some tools for the porch they are building at his house. I told my niece, "Look there's your dad running. Yell out at him and say run old man run." Jay, "No. I can't say that." Me, "Why?" Jay, "Cause my daddy is not old." Me, "Your sister isn't old and you called her old lady." Jay,"Ya she is! Old Lady!" Once again she ran off giggling the whole way.
Once that day was over I realized that I was not spending enough time with them. They grow so fast! I was going through some old pictures and happened to come across a picture of them for Halloween in 2011 and I compared it to 2012. BOY is there a big difference. It got me curious so I started going through my laptop and found videos and pictures of when Jay was born. I almost cried. I knew right there and then that I did not want to waste anymore time on being miserable day in and day out, because I can't bare a child of my own. These girls mean the world to me and I want to be a part of their lifes as they get older and grow into beautiful young ladies. (Hopefully not in a blink of an eye). I don't want them to just see me as just another aunt. I want to be known as "thee" aunt lol!
Well I hope everyone enjoys their holidays, I probably won't be updating my blog for awhile. For those of use who are still waiting on our little miracle I ask of you not to lose HOPE.
