This crazy weather has me feeling yucky. I woke up with bad sinus pressure and the sneezing would not stop. Now my ears are achy and throat is scratchy. 😷 I'm not a fan of medication unless it's a must. My body is really good at fighting it off if I get rest and drink lots of vitamin C. 

It's getting extremely frustrating that AF hasn't made an appearance. I went in on St Patties day for an ultrasound because I had been experiancing lower back pain + shooting pains down my thighs. Some days the pain was excruciating that I wanted to cry. I told myself that AF was on her way, WRONG! She just doesn't want to show her face. My main worry is that our vacations is approaching and I would love to have the opportunity to try another FET. The ultrasound showed a 6mm lining and a 11mm follicle. The Dr said what he could see AF should be showing up soon. I've been tempting and my temps have been cray cray. I've never had temps below 97. It got me worried since I read it could be a sign of infection which caused me to just stop temping. Luckily they said I was cleared of bacteria as well. They basically told me to go home and wait for AF. 😫 Do you know how hard that is to just wait!! I saw my acupuncturist and she was surprised that I still hadn't started my cycle. She told me to ask for Provera if I didn't start by this week. Monday came around and nothing. Ugh! I texted my nurse and she gave me permission to start the progesterone. What I didn't notice was that I might of O around the weekend. If my tempts are right then it definitely happened. Since I got frustrated and didn't temp everyday I don't know if it was Friday, Saturday or Sunday. 

I started taking P on Tuesday morning so the big rise was probably due to that. Either way if I did or didn't I will only take it for 10 days and wait for AF to appear. Crossing my fingers that she goes easy on me as well. I just want her to come visit me!! 

On the brighter side J hated seeing me down so he bought me a lovely distraction. 

I think she was meant for him more than me. She definitely keeps me entertained but he's the one that babies her. For crying out loud she likes to watch Spongebob in the morning while he's getting ready for work. I do love her though she's such a character. 

Period period where are u??! Come to me!!! 

It's been a while...I guess I try not to think about it so I find other things to do. I'm going to try my best to blog more because in the end this is a place I write to remember my IF journey. 

Fridays use to be exciting days but now they just remind me of our little angel. It was a Friday when I found out that our baby wasn't growing at a normal pace. The following Friday we got the devastating news that our pregnancy wasn't developing. I used to look forward to Fridays and now I struggle to even get past them. I will eventually get over it...I know I will. Time heals. 

We did get some good news though. Results came back from the genetic/ karyotype testing as normal. Our little boy  did not have any chromosomal abnormalities which gives us a sense of relief. A part of me always knew it was a boy. Strangely I see myself as a mother of boys. Why? Idk I prefer sports over girly stuff. Don't get me wrong I always tell J I want a little girl because let's face it girls are fun to dress! And I want a baby girl to be able to share the same bond I have with my mom. 

I bought this when we went through our first fresh cycle in hopes to give it to J when I got a +. He eventually got to see it  during  our  FET cycle. (: 

I got this in hopes to tell my parents. They never got to see it. 

Again my heart said boys! 

 

When we found out the sex of our little angel our hearts finally got some closure. This lost felt more real that what science said it was. 

We dont have answers on to why this happened but I'm checking it off to my thyroid and my body not knowing what to do with the pregnancy. We were concerned that the rest of our embryos might be abnormal and we had to do PGD testing. Knowing the results gives us one less thing to worry about. There's so much going through my head but I just can't put it into words. 

 Our next FET will bring us a take home baby, I just know it! We will get past this bump on the road and our hearts will heal. My HCG was finally below 5 on Friday (again a Friday!) it was at 4. Still no sign of AF and I am growing impatient. Pulled out the thermometer over the weekend to see if my body is finally doing something. So far NADA! Sigh! At least my thyroid finally dropped to .47!! Woohoo! Don't have to worry about it elevating and being above normal range once I get pregnant again.