Seeing Red

My heart sank when I saw blood when I wiped. It wasn't a smudge or spotting IT WAS FULL ON menstrual bleeding. I freaked out and called J to bring me a pad. Tears were not present at the time or for the rest of the night. I was numb. Confused. Why does this keep happening? J was even more confused, he couldn't understand what was going on. He kept asking me why I was bleeding and I felt hopeless.

Was I losing my baby once again? Monday morning couldn't come any quicker. I couldn't even bring myself to call my nurse I just texted her and was told to come in. I waited for J to wake up because I couldn't go to this appointment by myself.

When we arrived my Doctor was doing a retrieval so we were left waiting for a bit. By the time we got to the appointment my bleeding went from bright red to dark brown. Dr B finally came in with worry on her face. I let her know that it was no longer bright red it was now brown discharge. She immediately let me know that was actually good news. She performed an ultrasound and our baby was still there. (Thank you Jesus!) Measuring right on track of 6 weeks 1 day. She pointed out our baby's heart flickering on the screen. We also got to hear it although it was for a couple seconds. Apparently she said with the u/s machine we were using we were really pushing it on hearing a heartbeat this early. They usually try to do it at 6.3 weeks or later to get a better reading.

My eyes filled with tears when she pointed out the heartbeat. She reminded us this is the farthest we have gone and I should believe it's happening. I'm trying, I really am but I feel like now my fear has increased on losing this little one. Were taking it day by day for now. Dr B understands I'm a nervous wreck so she asked me to come back Friday to take another look.

She doesn't know why I bled the way I did. There's no signs of tears or bleeding around the sac. She believes there's a war inside my uterus as far as my antibodies trying to end the pregnancy and the meds working hard to prevent it. But she also mentioned that some women just bleed or have brown discharge while on lovenox and stopping it usually stops it. Lucky for me I can't stop my meds so I just have to brace myself for possible breakthrough bleeding again. Friday seems so far away but I'm praying I make it that far without having any further complications. Although my Dr assured me if it happened again to let them know and they will see me sooner.

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12 comments:

  1. Do you read T at http://justagirltryingtomakethebest.blogspot.com/?m=1
    She had intense bleeding while on lovenox during Her pregnancy. She has twin 3 month old girls now.

    I'm praying for you. Praying this sticks and you stop getting these scares. Hugs.

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  2. Oh my gosh, how scary. I am SO thankful you got to see the baby measuring well and hear the heartbeat!!! Praying for you!!

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  3. My heart was beating so hard while reading this. I'm SO thankful that your baby is hanging in there. I've been on Lovenox since the day I found out I was pregnant with the twins, but never experienced bleeding. I'm so so sorry you're going through this, but try to relish in the victory that you've made it farther than you've ever been. Praying for you!

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  4. Hoping that things continue to go well, despite the bleeding! And fingers crossed for NO MORE!

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  5. Seeing bleeding is so maddening, but the fact things are measuring well and heartbeat is there is so promising. Hold onto hope Jo Jo. Bleeding is so so common, and everything else is where it should be!

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  6. You poor thing! I hope that this all ends soon so you can have confidence in this pregnancy! So happy for you!

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  7. Oh girl! I'm so sorry that must have been so scary, but SO glad all is well! Praising the Lord for this sweet baby!

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  8. Wow you poor thing :( but that's great news you saw the heartbeat! !! Praying for you! HUGS

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  9. Oh Jojo, i'm so relieved there's still a heartbeat. I'm praying hard that this little one makes it! I know it's so scary - just try to keep the faith!

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  10. So scary but so great to see the heartbeat- Hang in there. Thinking of you!

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  11. I don't know you but I cam across your blog somehow and wanted to share a quick blurp from my pregnancies. I miscarried once before becoming pregnant a second time with my now 4 year old son. I bled so much during the first and second trimesters that I needed a blood transfusion... but the baby was perfectly fine. Never figured out why it happened but bleeding doesn't always mean miscarriage. I know how scary it is though especially when you have a history. I hope all continues to be well.

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  12. So reassuring once you see that heartbeat. I have a friend who bled heavy a lot during her twin pregnancy and delivered two healthy babies. Hope it's the same for you.

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