just recently found out my vitamin d levels were low. Came back at 18.4, my clinic put me on a high does of vitamin d. I'm suppose to take it once a week and in two weeks when they retest my levels I can take OTC vitamin d at a lower dose. 

I immediately googled what this meant and decided to stop because it scared me. It's out of my control and I am going to have faith my body will fix itself. 

Today was my transfer day. My emotions were all over the place with this transfer. Comparing my feeling to our last FET cycle I was extremely excited. Impatient for the day to arrive. This time around I was scared, stressed, nervous, etc. No matter what I did I couldn't bring myself to shake it off. As the day got closer I became very emotional. So emotional that I reached out to my nurse for comfort. I hadn't seen her since my D&C. Somehow we've always managed to miss each other when I had appointments that I began to think she was no longer there. She confirmed she was still there but for some reason always missed each other. She began to tell me she was excited for my transfer and was anxious for the day to arrive. Which I responded with...
I knew she had a point but how does an infertile relax after a miscarriage? I woke up early to eat something before my transfer and we went off for my pre acu session. I thought it was lovely the on call person came in early for my session. As soon as I arrived to the clinic I was embraced with hugs. Everyone was doing such a great job at helping me ease my nervousness. 

While I was being prepped for the transfer they showed us a picture of our two embryos we were transferring. Then they mentioned that they will be inserting HCG into my uterus before my transfer. The embryologist stated it's a way to aid the embryos to implant and grow. Apparently the main Dr of the clinic requested it. 

After my transfer the Dr who did my transfer came over to my side and place his hand on my head and said a prayer. Either that or I was imagining things...I didn't hear what he said because he was speaking softly and I was distracted with the nurse draining my bladder. Sigh. Before we left everyone was expressing how optimistic they were that this was it for us. The hugs, the words of encouragement, the love that I received today made it easier to believe. To hold on to hope. 

The waiting begins...

Vacation was fantabulous and I am dearly sadden that it came to an end. We had a wonderful time while we were in California creating new memories. Al though I ended up getting the flu I did not allow that to ruin my time there. 

We started the weekend with the bacherolette party, the men had their own bachelor party of course.  It was a blast even when I was the designated driver. 

The following day we drove to Venice Beach and explored. I must say it took my breath away. Everyone and everything was lively. 

During the week J & I decided to go to Newport Beach, w/ Xena (our pup), to enjoy the sun. I even got a tan on my white legs! Yay! 

Sure enough the wedding arrived... It was a lovely day with lots of tears of joy. 

These are just some random pics. We returned home to my newly born niece. Xena loved being a watch dog while we were in California. J and our lovely niece, she's such a cutie. Then J with his little brother the day of the wedding. 

The start of our vacation was a bit dreadful for me. No one in J's family knew about our miscarriage which led to the usual questioning "When are u starting your family?" Etc, etc. tears flowed down my cheeks when I was alone. I wanted to go home because I felt like everyone was being cruel. In realty they were just clueless about our situation. J isn't opened about our journey to parenthood so how would they know. He began to see the pain in my eyes when the questions kept coming that he did something I never imagined. He opened up and talked about our miscarriage. I also had a deep conversation with my sister in law, the one who got married, and found out she also experienced a recent miscarriage. Can you say bonding time? I've known she has had trouble conceiving, secondary infertility. When u finally find the love of your life and want a family that pain can sting. It pains me to see her go through something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Whatever happens I will be right there by her side. 

As for us lining check was yesterday and everything was good to go. I ended up going to an express clinic on Tuesday because of my tonsil pain. Unfortunately they gave me a steroid injection to soothe the pain since I didn't have an infection. My Dr wasn't pleased but said since I wasn't going through IVF it was ok. Let's cross our fingers I don't get sick again. Getting nervous!! 

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