After hours and days of contemplating if I should begin my own blog I finally came to the conclusion that it wasn’t IF I wanted to, it was the fact that I needed to. It is time to speak, or in this case, write out what I am feeling inside. I can’t keep bottling up my emotions because I feel like no one understands what I am going through. Yes my family and some friends are aware of our current struggle on trying to conceive. BUT that alone doesn’t stop them from always asking “Are you pregnant yet?” “Time is ticking, when are you guys going to begin having kids?” “Don’t you want kids?” etc. Um… HELLO! If we happen to mention that we are ready to start our family, hence, we are trying. Do I choose to be open about my current situation? I can honestly say no. I don’t feel comfortable talking to people that keep telling me that it will happen when we least expect it. I am not a very direct person, well, not with most people. But I should sarcastically ask them so from your expert opinion what do you think happened in the last four years? I mean we weren’t trying but we surely did not use any protection.
Sorry I just had to vent a little.
My birthday just passed two days ago and it made me realize that my life is slowly developing into something wonderful. DH and I had a lovely conversation during my birthday dinner and we stared at each other and said, "You know what? Although we haven't been able to have kids I like how our life has turned out to be." We both realize that we are High School Sweethearts that stayed together through the bumps on the road NOT because we had kids but b/c our love for one another has grown each day. We are in a good place, better than most people we graduated with. And I can smile and say when God wants to give us our bundle of joy(s); we would be more than ready!
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller
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