Side Effects

JoJo Tuesday, July 09, 2013 9 comments
I've attempted to stay optimistic time and time again. I just don't know if I can hold on to that hope any longer. The days, months, and years are passing by with no sign of a miracle baby. I've grown tired of people asking what I would name my future daughter/son. I'm surprised I haven't blurted out "you mean the child I probably will never have?" 

Could it be the side effects of Prometrium that has me depress lately? The bloatedness hasn't subsided. Sure it comes and goes but when it decides to stick around I curse for it to go away. It's gotten so bad that I cant sleep at night. The cramping also lingers around making me think AF is on her merry little way. I'm 8dpo with no boob pain whatsoever. Weird thing is that my temps did not rise until I started taking the P. Yesterday, a couple hours after inserting the P, I notice light reddish/pinkish spotting on my panty liner. Once I wiped there was absolutely nothing!! I know my tears won't do anything so there's no point in crying now until I see that BFN.  

At this point I have to breath and come to terms that I will definitely be embarking on a new journey. I'm scared to death that I won't respond well. That IVF won't work and I will be left with a pool of pain. I need to fill the hole in my heart that is aching. 

On a good note: I have done an awesome job avoiding caffeine and alcohol. 


JoJo

A 20 something year old trying to navigate through the infertility world. After two miscarriages I was told I have two mutations of MTHFR and Lupus anticoagulant antibodies. Hoping to have a successful pregnancy so we can have are happy ending.

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9 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 9, 2013 at 5:29 AM

    Praying for you. I know it's hard. :( I certainly believe you'll get your miracle baby.

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  2. AmieJuly 9, 2013 at 6:03 AM

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that you'll get your miracle baby :)

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  3. LauraJuly 9, 2013 at 7:21 AM

    Thinking of you. I know it's hard.

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  4. HeidiJuly 9, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    Keep your head up. Praying for your miracle!

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  5. SaraJuly 9, 2013 at 12:05 PM

    Praying for you! I too know how excruciatingly hard it is. I hope you are pleasantly surprised in a few days :)

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  6. Aubrey July 9, 2013 at 12:55 PM

    Thinking of you girl! xoxo

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  7. Team HarriesJuly 9, 2013 at 2:14 PM

    Thinking of you and awesome job on avoiding those two!!

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  8. EmilyJuly 10, 2013 at 7:00 AM

    The waiting is so freaking hard, but hang in there! The uncertainties with IVF are just as daunting, but try not to worry so far in advance and focus instead on the fact that you DO have options and lifelines left in this journey. No matter what, you have options still and that itself is the most important thing. 95% of couples conceive within 3 IVF cycles, so even if this cycle doesn't work you have a lot to be hopeful for!

    BTW...love the new look of your blog. :)

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  9. Jessah @ Dreaming of DimplesJuly 10, 2013 at 8:41 AM

    Love your new blog design! Congrats on avoiding those bad two vices. It's really hard for me but I know how important it is.

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