It's a not a matter of IF it's a matter of WHEN

Well the results are in and I'm officially not pregnant. Was I surprised? No. I had tested 7dpt5dt and it was a bfn. I tested again at 10dpt and it was still a bfn. I had a good cry then I got over it. What's new? 

It seems to make it worst when everyone says "you're so young and it will happen." I was a fool to believe I would be one of the fortunate ones to be able say I got pregnant with my first IVF. I had my pity party and then got over it quickly. Instead I decided to figure out what I can do differently for my FET. For one thing I will stop being a pussy and finally try acupuncture. It seems foolish now that I have experienced OHSS and the retrieval recovery. My clinic always advertises one so I think I will check them out. Their site says they're inside my clinic, I just haven't asked. Second of all I will be taking at least three days off after my FET. Anyone else have some good advise?  We have 9 beautiful embryos waiting for us to try again. 

Dr. C said it wasn't a matter of IF it's a matter of WHEN in my case. We discussed the possibility of transferring two this time around instead of 1. Let's just say we still aren't on the same page on this topic. I understand that transferring two doesn't increase my chances of implantation it only increases my chances of having twins. J and I are still discussing what our next step would be. As for my Dr he wants me to do another 1 embryo transfer and if it doesn't take then we can go with 2. 

Today is cycle day 2...this has to be the heaviest menstrual cycle I've ever had. It would be a lie if I said I didn't feel like we lost our lil one. It scares me to have another failed cycle but I am going to stay positive/hope for the best. 
Next PostNewer Post Previous PostOlder Post Home

8 comments:

  1. I have been thinking about you and hoping that you would get a BFP. I'm so sorry to hear about the negative test. That sucks. I wish you luck on the FET. I hear that women have better luck with those. *HUGS*

    ReplyDelete
  2. So sorry to hear this news! You weren't a fool to believe IVF would work, even on the first time… you are young, you had good embryos… everything pointed to success. Failed IVF sucks… so, so sorry girl. Hopeful that there are better days ahead!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so sorry Jo Jo. I am glad you have so many more embryos to try with, even though I know that doesn't take away one bit of the sting of a failed cycle and the feeling that a future child was lost. Also glad to hear you'll be trying acupuncture. I think you will love it, and what a bonus it's right inside your clinic!

    ReplyDelete
  4. girl, so sorry to hear this news. Hugs for you xoxox We are standing with you in this journey!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. So sorry girl. Every BFN stings a little more than the last. I can't pretend to know what it feels like after IVF. I'm sure it feels like a loss which is devastating. Sending hugs your way. Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  6. So sorry you got a BFN. It just sucks. But glad you're moving on and focusing on the next cycle... thinking of you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so sorry about the BFN. I like what your doctor said though. Not IF, but WHEN. Just keep that in your heart as you move into your FET. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so sorry JoJo! It's so hard to be faced such a deep disappointment. But it sounds like you have the attitude. If you can get over the anxiety, you might actually enjoy the acu. Not that you're asking for my opinion but I'd agree with your doctor about trying one embryo (one more time). There is nothing worse than having a high risk pregnancy when you've fought so hard to get this far. Good luck with your upcoming FET.

    ReplyDelete