How our Blessing came to be

I previously wrote a post about symptoms I was experiencing after giving birth to my son. Some which were migraines. They were so severe that I ended up going to the doctor for them. The doctor was very honest with me, which I greatly appreciated since most medical professionals just want to throw drugs down your throat and call it a day. She basically told me I could take medication for these migraines but if I wanted more kids she wouldn’t recommend it. We spoke about me seeing my acupuncturist to hopefully ease the discomfort of my migraines. Surprisingly she encouraged me to keep seeing her as she also believed it was triggered by a hormonal imbalance.

I started off going to a new acupuncture clinic only because I thought my insurance would cover it. Turns out I was wrong and I quickly ran back to my old time trusted acupuncturist. The acupuncturist was only focusing on my migraines when I kept insisting my hormones were playing a big part in all this. Don’t get me wrong, her techniques were working temporarily but given that she was charging me an arm and a leg to just focus on one thing!m I immediately said No thank you! While I waited on seeing my old acupuncturist I started researching a site I constantly went to in my long years of TTC. Natural Fertility Shop I knew if I wanted my body to “reset” itself I needed to give it a little boost so I purchased a cleanse products for J and I. (I had bought the cleanse for myself in the past al though I never took it since we started IVF right after purchasing it.)

Before purchasing these products J and I had a serious conversation because they weren’t cheap but definitely cheaper than treatment. We both agreed we would sacrifice certain things while doing the cleanse.

What we gave up

1. Alcohol- both of us although I am not much of a drinker so this wasn’t difficult for me
2. Caffeine- J isn’t much of a coffee person so this part was more for me than him. He of course drinks energy drinks once in awhile so that was a no no as well.
3. No smoking- solely J as I’m not a smoker
4. Cut back on sugar in take – guilty! J isn’t a fan of sweets so I blame it on my PCOS


Before my son was born we had talked about when we would go back to treatment to have a second child. Since I had my son via c-section they told me right off the bat that I had to wait until he was a year in order for us to go back into treatment. We were ok with that since we wanted to enjoy time with our son before going back into the stress of appointments, medical bills, etc. With that in mind I told J I wanted to try on our own once he was 6 months just to see what happened. I wasn’t going all cray cray like before trying to time everything accordingly. Only thing I would do is confirmed I ovulated with BBT charting so I could get an idea of when my period would start. Any who, once I received the products I took them straight to my acupuncturist. She looked over the ingredients and encouraged me to keep taking them. During the cleanse I emailed her complaining that my body just wouldn’t get it together. It seemed as if we succeeded in fixing one issue but another would arise. I was literately crying when I wrote her that email. She of course told me to take a deep breath because she saw it as a good sign. When our bodies are trying to normalize themselves they act differently.

At the moment I believed my lutheal phase had shorten out when it had never been a problem before. We later found out that my body was in fact ovulating earlier but BBT charting wasn’t reflecting that. Slow rising progesterone? Who knows?

During my time with her she would ask me if we were trying or just seeing what happened. Considering that my cycles were extremely irregular I always said we are just going with the flow. I honestly didn’t want to stress about if and when I ovulated but thanks to mittelschmerz I knew what side I ovulated from since I would experience pain/ soreness for a couple days. That is when I would pull out my thermometer to confirm it was in fact ovulation. The month we conceived was the month I least expected it to happen. Ovulation occurred from my left side, which is my blocked side so I was simply waiting on the right moment to call our clinic to give them a heads up that we wanted to begin the process to start trying for baby #2. The way things happened was actually pretty odd. My coworkers and I decided to order take out for lunch since it was Friday. Once our food arrived I took one bite then set it aside. I suddenly felt extremely full but brushed it off that I was probably starting to get bloated since the witch was around the corner. A couple hours passed by with the same full feeling in my stomach so I forced myself to eat the rest of my food. I hadn’t ate anything all day so I had to push myself to get something in my system. During this time I was working weekends….I know torture!! On Saturday we had a breakfast potluck and I was so ready to stuff my face. Or so I thought. If you know me personally I am known for my eating habits. After having my son my thyroid had the opposite reaction, I couldn’t gain weight and al though some may see this as a blessing I was unhappy with it. I constantly got asked if I was ok due to me losing to much weight after having my little man. So you can imagine how much I ate to try to put on some pounds. I grabbed everything I assumed I would be able to devour BUT my body had other plans. Once again it said “Nope we feel rather full here”. I literately had taken one bite! One bite!!

A co worker passed by my desk and made a joke that I was eating for two. I just laughed and said I was practicing. Little did I know that comment would be the reason I decided to test. Monday came around and I couldn’t shake the fullness feeling so I started googling. Everything that popped up was women saying that was their only symptoms before they found out they were pregnant. I actually found those post annoying and said “must be nice.” Mid afternoon I really had to pee so I ran to the restroom and said what the heck maybe its all mental and once I that ngative test my body would go back to being itself. My son crawled into the restroom so I rushed to stop him from getting into the tub and as I picked him up I was so close on walking out the door when I remembered about the test. I turned to see and just froze right on the spot. My body started feeling all sweaty, shaky, and I began to hyperventilate. I went to get my phone so I can send a picture to J. I think he was in denial as much as I was since his response was “ I don’t trust those test.” With that remark I immediately sent the picture to my favorite nurse at our fertility clinic. Her response was a shocked emoji and in the nicest way possible asked when I could come in for a blood draw. That same afternoon I went in for beta #1 once confirmed I was put on all my medication the following day. They ran another beta to make sure things were progressing and then scheduled ultrasound. My ultrasound was schedule at 5 weeks since she assumed I was further along going from LMP. Although my Dr went off my beta #s and she knew I would be around 5 weeks. Given that I made a comment about ovulating from the left side she wanted to make sure everything was in the right place.

As crazy as it seems right before I found out I had a conversation with God in one of my dreams. We talked about my desire to help another couple start their family. To be honest it was a sudden feeling that I told him if we were lucky enough to expand our family further naturally I would give my two remaining embryos to a loving couple. We both agreed to explore this idea once this blessing is born. J is on board with my decision and wants me to do what my heart desires. Of course he doesn't know how he will react knowing our biological children could be born to another family so we are hoping we can create a bond in order to keep in touch with the couple we end up donating too. Only time will tell how this new journey will unravel but I've asked God to guide us to the right family.

On May 10th we got to see our Blessing snuggled in mamas uterus. Al though we did not see a heart beat I just knew at that moment I needed to trust Him. My pregnancy with Jesus was all worry from the gecko. I promised myself that even though it was difficult I needed to put my worries aside in order for me to enjoy this pregnancy. J was a bit more skeptical and even asked the doctor how this was even possible after everything we went through to have our son. She just smiled then told him that sometimes-unexplainable things happen and seeing that I in fact ovulated from my blocked side makes our story even greater. Since we didn’t know what was going to happen I called my OBs office a little late in my pregnancy and I wasn’t able to get in earlier than 12 weeks. Dr B at our fertility clinic said she was happy to monitor me until 10 weeks so I didn’t have to wait a while to see our little blessing.

Everything so far is going great. I was able to see my old OB at 12 weeks that lead to us deciding it was best to look for a new practice. That is another post within itself…I should be seeing my new doctor at the end of this month. He did refer me to my old MFM so she would be keeping an eye on me as well throughout my pregnancy. I actually see her tomorrow for the first time so that is going to be nice since I have not had any first trimester screening as of yet. Once we get this new doctor stuff out of the way I think I will be less stress about where the heck am I delivering.