Surprisingly Nervous

So long story short...the department I am doing an internship for opened a position up. Although it is not what I am interning for its still within the department. I considered applying and then became undecided. After thinking it over and ran every possible outcome of this opportunity I decided to apply. Then BOOM! they drop the biggest bomp on me. The position was opened to another site (which happens to be the site where the other intern is at and he happens to be interning for the exact depart. they are hiring for). I was a bit sad in regards to this because I personally think he has an advantage over me bc he is already being trained in that field and is working near the hiring manager. I couldnt even get an interview...but turns out ppl spoke up and wanted me to get an interview so I was given the opportunity. Deep down in my heart I know that I am not in the advantage of getting the positon but I'm a bit content with the fact that at least theyre taking the time to interview me.

A part of me wants to cry! I will not allow myself to though, I will hold my head high and think of my future. With this experience I can look to further my career somewhere else. And to be honest as much as it saddens me I want a BABY WAY MORE! Thinking that December is almost in reach gives me some type of JOY. I keep randomly telling DH that I am extremely excited and that if I do end up getting our BFP in December that I would be do in the same month as my Bday which would be awesome! Well for me it would he isn't very fond of it...He says another LEO in the house is not needed. HAHA!

I know I shouldn't get my hopes up thinking that the first time around it might work but if I dont have hope what do I have? This weekend we got news that my Sis N Law just gave birth about a week ago. I was happy and the thought of me being there one day seemed a million years away. This will be DH's 16 niece/nephew! So every time they see us the question arises of when are we going to have our own. I expressed to DH that I dont reach out to his family often bc of this. He said I should just tell them that we found out what the issue is and we appreciate if they just dont keep asking. I am not that type of person...BUT i do want to scream out that they need to stop worrying about us and focus on themselves.

On another note, FF was incorrect. I did not O on CD21..I O on CD22 which is awesome bc we timed intercourse perfectly! I am currently 6DPO and I have been experiencing cramping, I dont want to think to much of it, I just couldnt help to think that it is to early for me to get AF like cramps. Only time will tell...