First IUI cycle or NOT

My new cycle is finally here as I was impatiently waiting for. Now I wish it was not here because it feels like a cycle wasted. I do not know what to think of my RE's nurses right now. They seem extremely helpful when they want to and other times I feel like I am being shut out. They talk to me like I am well aware of what I am suppose to be doing and when...but then again it always feels like I have to be on their ass to tell me whats next. ITS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE THAT! UGH! The little folder that was given to me with the pricing and plan was sitting in my drawer for such a long time that I forgot about it. Once I pulled it because I knew THIS was the month, all the steps it has in there are not even followed my the nurses. I was told not to worry about whats on the paper they will walk me through it and make sure everything gets done. Well I am on cycle day 5 and I still havent gotten a baseline sonogram or even gotten perscribe anything.

I went on a mission to go to the appointment yesterday and make it back to work. All they did was take bloodwork for E2 & FSH. Once I was done they told me they will call me with the results and if my insurance didnt cover the HSG then they can refer me elsewhere. As I struggled to find a place to have the HSG, I notice its already going to be 3 pm. No phone call. Hmmm...strange. Now past 3:30pm (office is now closed)...ok maybe I will get a call tomorrow morning. I come in to work obssesed to see the results on their site so I can google the results. Everything looks normal and the RN sent me a message stating everything is normal if I had questions to please call them. (Scratching my head) Really?! Aren't you suppose to call and give me my next step. Cause I vaguely recall the doctor telling me an RN will instruct me on when to take my medication. But what medication I wasnt perscribe one. I am tired of this journey that feels like it has just begun. All my hormones came back fine...like last time. So why is it that I have polycystic ovaries...why can't I just conceive already and not wait on some random nurse to tell me what to do.

Now I wonder if I should let this cycle go and next month start all over. Maybe its the holidays that is driving the crazy with so many people in such a period of time. When I was there yesterday around 8:50am, there was more than enough patients there. GUESS WHAT??!! I looked like the youngest one there, which explains all the stares. It was the most uncomfortable feeling ever that I pretended to use my phone.

(Taking a deep breath)

Ok. Now that I have vented a bit. I can move on and go with the flow and see what happens. DH isnt very thrilled with whats going on. HAHA! He keeps telling me to call and tell them they are messing up the flow and he doesn't like it. Its kinda cute to see him get all worked up. Seems so strange that 2012 flew by and 2013 is almost here. Now that I see that our treatment isnt working out on how I planned, I want to tell DH that he can go to California for the holidays to see his family. He decided on not going because his presence was required. In 2011 we went to California at least 3 or 4 times. In 2012 = NONE. I know he is homesick and he will never get tired of saying he doesn't like Texas, HECK! I sometimes get homesick. This is truly something I need to sit down and talk to him about. Maybe seeing his family is what he needs.