One of those days..

Where we all seem to lose our mind. I've been pretty distracted lately with my internship. All of a sudden I feel that my mind is overanalyzing the simplest things. Maybe its the new people around me that asked me if I have kids. Or the fact that they talk about their kids and the funny things they do.


A part of me doesn't want to lose hope that one day I will be the one sharing memories of my little ones. But I feel like a bouquet of roses slowly dying and no one seems to want to nourish them. Lately I've been researching a lot about PCOS and the more I read the helpless I become. I tried to talk to DH about this and how I dont feel like I can go through this alone.

Little did I know that his mind was completely absent during our RE appt. Either that or he has memory loss. He said nothing was wrong with me and that I was overreacting. I had sent him links relating to Husbands supporting their wives with PCOS to help them over come some of the nasty effects. HA! The man didnt even look at them and then tried to say there was nothing wrong with me that I dont have a diseas or anything. Let's just say the rest of our conversation didnt end well. I dont blame him for not trying to understand if he rarely goes to the doctors concerning his own health.

I have to be real here...the reason I started feeling down is because the holidays are coming up and birthdays. So I went to the store with my mother to shop for my nieces gifts ahead of time so we can save some dinero. Well she started looking through the kids clothing that require you to pass through the baby clothing. I couldnt help but look at them and imagine my future kids wearing it. It made my mind go in swirls asking what if questions. The thought pains me! Ugh!

Last but not least... I called my RE office to get more prenatal vitamins since they gave me boxes of samples to see if I liked them. Well I had to leave a voicemail and they called me back like within 10-15 minutes. The nurse was being very smart assy...it bothered me that she would have that tone with me. How am I suppose to know that you have 10-15 types of Prenatal Vitamins and you have no idea which ones you gave me. I felt so dumb that she was telling me those things when I am not the one that works there...I dont have this insight like you do...back off! AND DONT CALL ME SWEETIE IT MAKES ME FEEL BELITTLED. Geez! I know I look young and my voice doesnt seem to help with that either but don't judge me I am smarter than it seems.

P.S I really dont mind people using the words : Sweetie, hunny, etc. but after she belittled me it stirred something up inside of me.
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3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry that you're feeling so neglected. Sometimes I think guys just have a hard time relating to what we're going through. It doesn't make it right or anything, and it just plain sucks. As for the RE's office- that is so rude. Some people in the medical profession need to learn how to show compassion for others. Especially when there is only one reason you'd be going to an RE, so they should know that you're having a tough time as it is. Grr.. that makes me so annoyed!

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  2. I am sorry things are as they are right now. Your RE's office should be considerate to there patients because who should know better then anyone that you don't need any additional stress! As far as DH goes I don't know if men just blank out at the docs office or what because mine acted kinda like yours did! Men!

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  3. There's no room for any attitude other than a sympathetic one in that line of work, and it sounds like that lady should find another job! Sorry DH didn't listen well or take a vested interested in something that is affecting you so much. Maybe at the next RE apt. you can try looking at him and the dr. a lot as to say "Ok, you are listening right?" I do think it's just a common occurrence with a lot of men. I have to always remind myself that my hubby hasn't read all the books and doesn't spend time learning from other women on online forums. It really is a foreign language to them.

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