Inconceivable

I have been contemplating on writing this letter. The more I run it through my mind I realize I am never going to feel at peace if I don't. I have been telling J that I want us to write a letter to our inconceivable child. At first I thought he might think I have fell of the ledge and gone mad. I was very surprise when he asked what would we write? Listen to your heart and let it flow on paper. So here goes nothing:

Dear Son/Daughter,

I've been searching for you with endless desperation. There is not one day that passes by without a thought of you on my mind. I could only see you in my dreams, lately it's been quite impossible to see the slightest glimpse of you. Everyone around me is hopeful that you will be a part of our family soon. I can't say I am as hopeful at this point in time. I have been waiting for you for a good five years and with each passing day my mind just becomes a fog. It breaks my heart to see your father making plans of when you finally arrive. I have to admit that it brings a smile to my face when he tells me his hopes and dreams of you. It is not a lie when I tell you that your bond with your father will be unbreakable. He is such an outgoing guy that is fabulous with kids. You know he is already planning on teaching you everything there is to know about football and ofcourse lets not forget about his team, 49ers. Now let me tell you about another pair of souls who ache for your arrival. Your grandparents, oh they have so many plans on how they will raise you. Your grandmother is such a lovely lady with a tremendous heart. She will probably let you get away with things I wont. She will teach you right from wrong in a manner that you will not help but love her. Your grandfather is limited with his words. He has a gentle soul and will try his best to comfort you when he sees you are hurting. If you were to spend time with him you will learn everything there is to know about diesel mechanics. He prefers to spend his days outside just like your great grandparents. I know you will grow fond of them both.

My child I promise you that I will never give up on finding you. When the day finally comes and I can hold you in my arms, there wont be a day that you wont be loved. I beg of you to please be patient with me as I may not be able to give you a sibling right away. Although, like you, I will never stop searching until he/she is in my arms. My heart is aching for your touch. Please my child step into the light so I can get a better glimpse of you. I am standing here with open arms waiting for the day that you decide its time to arrive. Please dont delay your presence any longer. Stop these tears from falling by allowing me to listen to your heartbeat. I love you my inconceivable child.