Nervous

Tomorrow I go in for my second HSG test. Hopefully this one is successful. I am becoming a bit of a nerve wreck just thinking about it. The HSG appt isn't the reason I feel nervous, it's the appt prior to that. I have to make a "quick stop" to see my RE so I can get dilated. All I can think about is if its going to be painful. DH decided to skip work tomorrow because I told him I needed him there. He's so sweet and decided to let his job know he wasn't going to make it tomorrow. Fridays are usually optional for him so there's not a problem there. Besides I miss spending time with him now. Working different shifts isn't the ideal schedule for me.

Last cycle I decided to use soy isoflavones to see if it really made me ovulate sooner. BUMPED up to CD 21 ovulation from CD 23. I went in with the mentality of using it to shorten my cycles not to see if I can get pregnant. My cycles seemed too long to bare that I can't wait forever to even try one medicated cycle. Everyday my mind is more confused. I am reading a lot more lately, which brings up my intolerable mindset. Yes, I want a baby. Do I want it natural or through ART? (Sighing) At this point I tell myself I waited this long why not try to get my body completely balanced and see what happens. Then the other half of my conscience starts questioning "How long is that going to take?", "What if it never happens?", or "Am I just being totally irrational and impatient?" I honestly don't know! I think I am just going to go with the flow. I will do my HSG and move forward with the IUI and see what happens. You never know....we may get a miracle before we even start treatment.

Sending positive vibes to everyone who is still trying to have a miracle. I know our day will come and when it does we will appreciate it even more.