It Starts!

It seems like my days have been pretty busy and I don't have time for much. I don't know how I have been keeping up with school lately. But seeing that A flash back at me keeps me motivated to work towards the career I love. Work has been hectic lately...to many changes which is causing work overloads for everyone. I am thrilled when I get out of there at 1:45pm. People use to tell me I was crazy for coming in at 5 AM, now they wish they were me. I don't have to deal with anyone until 8AM. Any who, everything seems to be falling into place. My job had became extremely strict on taking days off lately. That I had to go down the FMLA route again. This time everything worked out great...within a week I got my approval. Which was just in time with all my rescheduled sonogram appointments.

Today was my CD17 sonogram and let me tell you I was shocked. On CD15 my dominant follicle was 15mm, only 2mm bigger than CD12 sonogram. I became extremely discouraged that it had only grown 2mm in 3 days! Well in 2 days it grew a whooping 8mm making it 23mm. I guess it was being poky and decided to grow last minute. I was given the go ahead to take the Ovidrel shot tonight at 6:30pm. J was given the option to deliver sample at 7:30am on Thursday or give a sample there at 7:30am. He of course chose to deliver it. We will have to be back at 10:15am to have our IUI performed at 10:30am. Now I don't know if I feel anxious or scared. J doesn't want me to think about it...he says I need to find ways to relax and we will see what happens. It seems like everyone single one of our family members that live in Texas knows what we are going through and I am already dreading the question, "Are you pregnant?"

At first it was just my mom who knew and my cousin. BUT everyone knew we were having trouble conceiving just not that we decided to get help. J isn't a big fan of people knowing even if he isn't the issue. He knows I blog about it and that I participate in forums. He was iffy about my mother knowing but said it was ultimately my decision. After I told him that my mom had asked me in front of my SIL about my appointment...he just said GREAT. At first I was a bit disappointed that it had gotten out but in the end I was kinda grateful. Grateful that I wasn't the one to tell them we went that route. Grateful that even though they know they seem too scared to ask what is going on. My SIL did ask me about my appointment when my mom brought it up but she said it sounded too technical for her. HAHAHA! Thanks for making me feel like a effin experiment. She has three kids, two she conceived while she was still in HS. Then my niece came along when she was in her 20's. I have a good relationship with my SIL but i dont expect her to get what I am going through. How can she? She hasn't had to deal with this emotional rollercoaster herself. I use to get mad when I heard people talk about how easily they fall pregnant and people tell them they are fertile myrtles. Now I just ignore it...i refuse to compare myself to other women. I see this as a way for me to build up my parenting skills. No one is ever prepared to have a child but when you are having difficulties conceiving you long for that child more than when you finally get your wish granted you appreciate it more. I saw it with my cousin and his gf. They tried for a year a some months to get pregnant. They said during that time it was very depressing because they announced to everyone that they were gonna start trying. A year later nothing. They had completely given up alcohol and smoking during this time, she was taking vitamins. She said she had pretty much giving up when my aunt asked her if she had gotten AF yet. Apparently, all three of them had their cycle a week apart. (My aunt, cousin, & her). She said no but to come and think of it she's 2 weeks late. My aunt rushed over to the drug store and bought her a pregnancy test. Sure enough she was pregnant. Her son is one of the smartest kids I have ever met. He reads and he is only 2 years old. There's not one day that I don't see her spending time with her son. So I do believe that when you truly want something and you are having trouble getting it, you tend to appreciate it more.